Jason

International Christian Ex-Gay Ministry

FREE DOWNLOAD - THE WORKBOOK OF HOMOSEXUALS ANONYMOUS!!


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Welcome to Homosexuals Anonymous!

http://www.homosexuals-anonymous.com/

 

Homosexuals Anonymous is an international organization dedicated to serving the recovery needs of men and women who struggle with unwanted same sex attraction.
       
         
This fellowship of men and women, who through their common spiritual, intellectual and emotional experiences have chosen to help each other live in freedom from homosexuality. 
             
       
If you are a person who struggles with unwanted same sex attraction, you are not alone Homosexuals Anonymous and many other related ministries, counselors and therapists provide valuable resources that can be of great use to you.
        
Remember always that while no one chooses to have same sex attraction, many do choose to diminish and eliminate those feelings of attraction. All people have the right to self determination, the right to choose for themselves the aspects that comprise their identity. Through HA, you will meet many people who see their identity as being rooted in their faith and not in their unwanted desires and behaviors.
                           
If you are a parent, relative or friend of someone who struggles with unwanted same sex attraction, you can find helpful resources they will appreciate.
         
If you are a parent, friend or relative of someone who embraces and lives a gay lifestyle, you can find support, encouragement and hope in the material you will find available to you in website. If you are interested in online support groups or forming a local parents support group, please contact us and let us know how we can serve you.
          
If you are a minister, counselor or therapist looking for a support group and  other resources to serve the needs of a counselee wanting freedomm from homosexuality, then please read through our website. In your exploration you will learn who we are and how we can help you.


 

HA Chapter Munich, Germany

Wer Kontakt mit der Selbsthilfegruppe von Homosexuals Anonymous in München aufnehmen will:

Infos unter Tel.: 089-78018960

Email: klicke hier.

Treffen in der Regel wöchentlich (Freitags 18 Uhr - ca. 20 Uhr).

Auf Wunsch mehrsprachig.

 

Online Groups

It started as an experiment -- an online chapter. It's been continuing for many years now. It is open for anyone and to anyone as another avenue to work the steps and correspond with others.

You are welcome to participate.

All online members are anonymous (usernames only). Of course, you must help maintain your own anonymity. Before you give us your e-mail name, be sure it contains no information you may not wish to send, e.g., your last name.

To find out more send an email: free32@gmx.de

Note: We have gender-specific groups (male). There are no mixed groups at the moment! Also you need to be adult to take part in the program.


Online Contact letter:


We would be very happy to welcome you into our HA online chapter.        

We're a Christian fellowship with recovery groups working the 14 Steps of Homosexuals Anonymous.  You're not required to be a Christian, but our recovery program is completely Christ-centered.  This includes reading the Bible.  For you to join, we ask some things of you.  Please read this email carefully as your reply indicates your acceptance of the rules set out below.

1) Please put together a brief biography introducing yourself to the group.  It need not be detailed (two or three sentences is enough) and should only include what you are comfortable with telling us.  This is so that members feel they're not just speaking to unknown people lurking in the background.  Please include your first name, last initial, age, state or area where you live, marital status, and if you have children. For example, a simple biography could say something like, "Hi, my name is Richard S., I am 35, single, living in the greater Philadelphia, PA, USA area.  I have no children.  I have wanted to find recovery from homosexuality for some time."  If you wanted to include a little more of your history, it might be, "I have known that there was something 'different' about me since I was young.  I have struggled with homosexual feelings since then, but especially since my teenage years."

2) As a member, you're responsible for maintaining your own anonymity. We only use first name and last initial.  As soon as we receive your biography and stats, we'll add you to one of our groups.  You'll begin to receive your group's posts and will be able to participate with the rest of the members.  To communicate with the group, all you need to do is send one email to the address of the group.  It will then be sent out to all the members of the group.

3) For our recovery we use the 14 Steps of Homosexuals Anonymous.  We ask that you commit to reading and answering the steps as they are sent to the group each week (it takes about 20 minutes), and also a weekly 'accountability check-up' (10 minutes).  Your minimum weekly participation in both of these is mandatory in order to remain in the group. Our healing comes through the interaction, support, and prayers of the members of the group for each other as we do the Steps and the accountability check-ups together.  If you're sick or away on vacation, we ask you to let us know so we can support you in prayer. If you have any questions, feel free to email me.  

4) This program is non-denominational. Please refrain from doctrinal discussions (like whether or not infant baptism is biblical...). Also we ask you not to mention any names of congregations and not to send in links or texts from your church. The reason is that we want to focus on our goal of seeking freedom from same-sex attractions and not get lost in those doctrinal discussions.
          

With best wishes and prayers for a good recovery,                                  

Your friend Robert G.  





Messages from Bill B. former leader of the online-program:

 

It is good to praise the Lord,

for His mercy endures forever."
 
I am sixty eight and leagally blind, my kidneys don't work 100%, but god's mercy endures through all of this.
I was a homosexaul offender for many years and have by His mercy found recopvery.
Yes His mercy endures forever.
I am glad that God is mercyful and forgave me and helped me to understand that that a sinner such as I could find mercy.
God's mercy doesn't allow me to sin again it teaches me that His mercy is fulll and free. That He would teach me that He acted like a father to me and would correct me whenever I went astray.
His mercy allows me to be the person He intwended me to be, yes even with my "warts and all". He would forgive me time and time again, to the point that He would allow me to find out that He is merciful and wants me to be whole.
God does not act the way we think He will at times, and acts so differently to my earthly dad, but thta is another story.
I know about your struggles with homosexual lust and the wya it has gripped you. But I want you to know that there is a merciful God that wants to help you become the person He intended you to be.
Let me say here that you have to follow advice, mainly listen to what God is teaching you and to put it into practice, otherwise you'lll miss God's forgiveness and mercy.
What do you do, you ask me.
Work the steps dilligently every day, pray every day, read god's word every day ask God to opeen the eyes of your understanding so that You may understand what He is doing in your life. Most of all trust Him to bew merciful to you, but don't sin more so He can be more merciful. His mercy endures forever.


May you by His grace know of His grace and mercy always,

by His grace alone,

billb



Love is ….
 
Today I want us to think about love and what it encompasses. It means more than what I have thought was love and my views on love have changed somewhat.
 
 Does love include correction? I am sure it does. If you see someone doing something that would cause them an injury you would tell them to stop the action. You would tell a child nopt to play with fire as the child would get burnt, if you saw the child playing wwith fire you would immediately correct them. It may take some time for them to learn a particular lesson, but love would constrain you to keep reminding them not to play with fire.
 I found it hard to understand that sort of love as I was recovering. When I fell to masturbation I found that I had to run to God and tell Him that I had sinned against Him amnd needed His power to make me strong to resist my sexual urges that were being wrongly used.
 Many the time I had to turn to God to learn that He was there to correct me in love and concern for me. Many times it was as though He would say ‘I know my son, now get up and walk before me.’
 Let us understand that we recover with God’s help or we will never recover at all. We must learn we cannot bring any type of sin with us; it’s like we have to leave our sin haversack at the door, as God wants us to be holy and to be the person He made us to be.
 We recover if you like by God’s rules. We cannot make our own rules for recovery. I am sure if you are like me you have tried to recover your own way only to fail miserably time after time.
 God’s love encompasses correction so we learn that without God we can do nothing. I trust that you are learning about God’s love and His ways as you seek recovery.
 
 By His grace alone,
 
billb


 
Guys,
 
here is a another message from Bill B., the former leader of the online-program:
 
Deceived by a Lie
 
Today there is a great debate about homosexuality and the Bibles relevance to that subject. Let me say this that I believe what the Bible says, but I know of others who will say that the Bible today is not relevant for today’s world.
Lte us state that all men are born sinners and “Fall far short of the glory of the Lord.” We can read about a man cllaed Nicodemus in John chapter three. This man come to Jesus
“He came to Jesus by night and said to Him, Rabbi, we know that you are a teacher come from God; for no man can do these miracles which you do unless God is with him.”
Nicodemus knew by Christ’s miricales alone that He must be from God.
Jesus tells him what every man woman and child should hear, whether they be homosexual or heterosexual this state ment is for everyone.
“Jesus answered and said to him, Truly, truly, I say to you, Unless a man is born again, he cannot see the kingdom of God.” John 3:3 (NKJV)
Now let’s look at the lie homosexuals want us to believe.
One is that they were born that way, it is genetic, and they are trapped by this genetic defect.
Even if this was so they cannot escape from John 3:3 addressed to them as well as to you and to me.
But what do they base this premise on? If they have proof positive let them show us. I state emphatically that they can not prove the genetic defect in homosexuality. Many will say they know they were attracted to others of the same sex when they were young. Most if asked closely they will tell yo they have been homosexual for a long time. I say they have believe the klie that they are homosexual so long they believe they were born that way.

Then homosexuals will tell you there is no way they can change their behavior because of this genetic defect.
How wrong they are, as They as well as us arte directed to be  Born again, and there is no excuse available to side step this direction given to us all.
I know of men a nd women who have by the grace of God changed  their homosexual orientation. So then that disproves their message of no change available for homosexuality.
I know of one man who was trapped by the lie of homosexuality for over thirty-six years and thorough the grace of God found freedom from homosexuality.
Let us say this, if this is true and I know it to be so, then they are without an excuse to carry on in homosexuality.
But the lie deludes them and blinds them to the truth of change. They say, “We arte born this way and we will remain so forever.”
Then they want the public to believe the lie with them and give them rights to do what God has forbidden man to do with another man.
I heard one commentator speak about God allowing slavwery, and Paul writes about slaves serving their masters well. But I see no connection between both iussues. Of course slavery has ben abolished because slaves were being mis-treated by their owners, and taken from their homes by force to become slaves. Slaves in Biblical times were a part of the daily life of almost everyone. Yet I see no correspondiong reason to lump the abolisghing of slavery with the treatment of homosexuals by the community.
Homosexuals have the right to be born again, just like you and I have the same calling to follow and respond to this call by Jesus.
 

WHAT IS HA?

Homosexuals Anonymous (HA) is a Christian fellowship of men and women who have chosen to help each other live free from homosexuality. The purpose of HA is to support individuals seeking that freedom through weekly group meetings where guidance is received through the shared experience and spiritual growth of others. Healing takes place through a 14 Step Program which leads to a new perception of God, self, and the world.

HA is a non-sectarian self-help group and works inter-denominationally. It does not endorse or oppose any political causes nor does it engage in controversial issues. The only requirement for HA membership is a desire to be and remain free from homosexuality.

 

Statement on Philosophy

Christ, the Imago Dei (the Image of God), is the restoration of the creation image, in whom all men and women find their identity by faith.
The search for wholeness and heterosexuality within ourselves thus comes to an end. Men and women receive Christ as their image of God, in whom is their wholeness and heterosexuality. As a trained faith grasps this awareness, there is a breaking of the power of the homosexual inclination so that freedom from the homosexual drive and activity is a real possibility. H.A., however, does NOT believe that a change in homosexual inclination is a requirement for acceptance with God or entrance into the fellowship of the church.

Although deliverance from homosexual activity is the call of God, the healing of the homosexual inclination will vary according to growth and is a result of our faith identity with Christ, rather than as a way to it. Nevertheless, HA holds that the homosexual inclination may be healed and that all who desire it may realize their inborn, though fallen, heterosexuality, thus opening the way to heterosexual marriage and family.

 

Homosexuals Anonymous: FAQs

HOMOSEXUALS ANONYMOUS

A Christian Fellowship

If you are a person in conflict with homosexual feelings, or a parent, relative or friend of someone struggling with homosexuality who needs help; if you are a minister, counselor or therapist looking for a support group for a counselee wanting freedom from homosexuality then please read on. You will gain insight into Homosexuals Anonymous (H.A.)--who we are and how we can help you.



How did Homosexuals Anonymous begin?

Homosexuals Anonymous began in late 1977 as a result of two men, Colin, a former minister, and Doug, a former school principal, pooling their ideas in how to pass on to others what they had experienced in recovery from homosexuality. Colin, who had kept a five-year journal of his growth, analyzed the principles of that growth with helpful evaluation from Doug. From this analysis the 14 Steps of H.A. were born. Nine of the steps come from Colin�s journals and five of them are modified from Alcoholics Anonymous.



What is the purpose of Homosexuals Anonymous?

Homosexuals Anonymous (H.A.) is a Christian fellowship of men and women who have chosen to help each other to live free from homosexuality. The purpose of H.A. is to support individuals seeking that freedom. Group support is available through weekly H.A. meetings. Guidance is received through the shared experiences and growth of others. Strength is acquired by training the faith response through the 14 Steps.

H.A. is non-sectarian and works inter- and non-denominationally. It does not endorse or oppose any political causes, nor does it wish to engage in any controversial issues that would draw members� energies away from the goal of maturing in their relationships with those around them and rediscovering their true identity through a restored relationship with God through Jesus Christ.



What is the purpose of anonymity?

Because the social stigma of homosexuality is often a factor in a person�s decision whether or not to seek help, H.A. members recognize that a firm assurance of confidentiality is imperative if they are to succeed in attracting and helping other people wishing to find freedom from homosexuality. H.A. promises personal anonymity to all who attend its meetings. First names only are used. Personal information shared during any meeting is treated as confidential.

While the privacy of each member is highly regarded, some people experiencing freedom from homosexuality are eager to share the good news of their H.A. affiliation with family, friends, and other support groups. Such disclosure is their own choice.



How is Homosexuals Anonymous organized?

Local H.A. Chapters are a part of a nation-wide network of chapters that function under the guidance of Homosexuals Anonymous Fellowship Services (HAFS). Local chapters are committed to the philosophy and guidelines of HAFS. H.A. chapters are developed as interested persons receive leadership training and accreditation through HAFS sponsored seminars.



Who directs the local H.A. Chapter?

Because H.A. is a self-help group, the members themselves, who have experienced significant growth, accept responsibility for different aspects of the chapter�s organization and meetings. In addition, the responsibility of helping an H.A. member work through the 14 Steps, outside the framework of the H.A. meeting, is taken on by a step coach who, having found ways of successfully applying the steps in his own life, now helps other members in the application process through example, guidance and prayer.



Is there any cost?

There is no charge for membership in an H.A. chapter. However, because each chapter is financially independent, members are given the opportunity to make contributions at each meeting. These contributions are used to meet the expenses incurred by the local group.



What is the requirement for membership?

The only requirement  membership in an H.A. group is a desire to be and remain free from homosexuality.



What is an H.A. meeting like?

Each meeting is structured around an hour-and-a-half time frame. The meeting opens with prayer, introduction of members by first names only, and a reading of the 14 Steps. Next come the major parts of the H.A. meeting and are as follows:

1) Histories�When new members are present, senior members tell of what led them to face their homosexuality, how God led them to H.A. and how they have grown in their understanding of God, of themselves and the world around them. New members are given the opportunity to share their history, too, but only if they choose to do so.

2) Step Talk�The step guide for the evening presents a short talk on one of the steps giving insight into how the principles found in the step are being worked out in his own life and how the step might apply to those in the group.

3) Discussion�Discussion sometimes focuses on the step and at other times on growth or struggle that a member may be experiencing. This is a time when members rally round to encourage each other. Meetings are characterized by friendliness and openness. There is no uncomfortable intensity and leadership is rotated so that there are no attempts to control. Many discover that an H.A. meeting provides the best Christian fellowship they have experienced in years.

The meeting then closes with the sharing of needs and prayer.



If I change from homosexuality will I still be me?

Recovery from homosexuality is not so much a question of change as it is of self-discovery. Homosexuality is the self-limiting of your personality. As you discover the Grace of God your true selfhood will be gradually released to enable you to become the person you always knew you could be, but feared you never would be.



Is H.A. likely to perpetuate the homosexual subculture?

H.A. believes that there is no such thing as �a homosexual,� only men and women, created by God heterosexually, who because of the broken world we live in, are confused over their sexual identity. H.A. members do not introduce themselves by saying, �Hello, I�m George and I�m a homosexual.� It is the paradox of Homosexuals Anonymous that people who become members discover in time that by God�s grace they are not what they thought they were. The discovery of this Grace ensures their restoration, as dignified people, to the Christian community. Thus, H.A. Fellowship, rather than perpetuating the homosexual subculture, contributes to its decline.



How can I get involved with H.A.?

If you want to be free from homosexuality you may begin attending an H.A. chapter at any point in the 14-Step series. Meeting places and times are not announced publicly, however. Contact with your local H.A. chapter is made by telephone only. To learn more about H.A. Fellowship and your local chapter, go to our website: www.homosexuals-anonymous.com.



THE FOURTEEN STEPS OF H.A.



1. We admitted that we were powerless over our homosexuality and that our emotional lives were unmanageable.

2. We came to believe the love of God, who forgave us and accepted us in spite of all that we are and have done.

3. We learned to see purpose in our suffering, that our failed lives were under God's control, who is able to bring good out of trouble.

4. We came to believe that God had already broken the power of homosexuality and that He could therefore restore our true personhood.

5. We came to perceive that we had accepted a lie about ourselves, an illusion that had trapped us in a false identity.

6. We learned to claim our true reality that as humankind, we are part of God's heterosexual creation and that God calls us to rediscover that identity in Him through Jesus Christ, as our faith perceives Him.

7. We resolved to entrust our lives to our loving God and to live by faith, praising Him for our new unseen identity, confident that it would become visible to us in God's good time.

8. As forgiven people free from condemnation, we made a searching and fearless moral inventory of ourselves, determined to root out fear, hidden hostility, and contempt for the world.

9. We admitted to God, to ourselves, and to another human being the exact nature of our wrongs and humbly asked God to remove our defects of character.

10. We willingly made direct amends wherever wise and possible to all people we had harmed.

11. We determined to live no longer in fear of the world, believing that God's victorious control turns all that is against us into our favor, bringing advantage out of sorrow and order from disaster.

12. We determined to mature in our relationships with men and women, learning the meaning of a partnership of equals, seeking neither dominance over people nor servile dependency on them.

13. We sought through confident praying, and the wisdom of Scripture for an ongoing growth in our relationship with God and a humble acceptance of His guidance for our lives.

14. Having had a spiritual awakening, we tried to carry this message to homosexual people with a love that demands nothing and to practice these steps in all our lives' activities, as far as lies within us.

NEWS!!

EXCITING NEWS!

The Board of Homosexuals Anonymous Fellowship Services is delighted to announce that they have invited Doug M. to serve as the new Service Coordinator of the Fellowship and that he has accepted the post.

Doug is the co-founder of HA, has led one of the Houston chapters of the fellowship, and has spoken at the HA Conference. He is a board certified Christian counselor with additional credentials in Trauma Resolution Therapy and Anger Management. He is a member of the American Board of Biblical Ac-countability and was ordained to the Gospel ministry in 1980. He has taught in Christian schools and served as a school principal for five years. He has lectured extensively on personal growth and spiritual enrich-ment and authored books on personal growth and recovery. He has been in specialized ministry and counseling related fields for twenty-seven years, has worked through his own struggle with same-sex attractions, and is married with three children and three grandchildren.

Doug has a number of exciting ideas to further the work of the ministry so that even more strugglers may find the encouragement they need to keep working until they find the freedom that Christ died that they could enjoy. All these will require money, of course, so please continue your faithful support of the ministry. It is so needed. And, if you have not been giving, please begin to do so. Your gifts and orders and questions should now go to the address below. God bless you for caring.

********

NEW CONTACT INFORMATION

HAFS

16506 FM 529 RD-115-Box 113

Houston, TX 77095

Tel. (281) 712-2676

 

 

Dr. Douglas E. McInytre: HA National Director

Dr. Douglas McIntyre is the co-founder of HA and founder of Acceptance Fellowship Ministries. He is a board Certified Christian Counselor with additional credentials in Trauma Resolution Therapy, Anger Management and Battering Intervention Prevention. He has lectured extensively on personal growth and spiritual enrichment and authored two books on personal growth and recovery. He has been in specialized ministry and counseling related fields for over thirty years, and has worked through his own struggle with same-sex attractions. He is married with three children and three grandchildren.

Letter from Doug

HOMOSEXUALS ANONYMOUS FELLOWSHIP SERVICES
H.A.F.S. • 16506 FM 529 Rd – 115 Box 113 Houston, TX 77095
281-712-2676

January 15, 2009

Dear Friends of HAFS,

I thought I had retired! God has a sense of humor and all I need to do to make Him laugh is “tell Him my plans”, and then He says, “ You still have something to do for me.”

The HAFS program that has been dear to my heart for over thirty years has been given to me to oversee and as I was one of the first two members of the group I’m getting really excited to have an opportunity to serve once more. God has seen fit to restore my health and I am now sitting in the beautiful new office of HAFS in Houston, TX.

I have a new burst of energy and a deep desire to reach out to many more of his suffering children than ever before.

Over the next few months new associations and outreach for HAFS will begin. A new effort to reach the younger people that are being attacked in the school systems has already started. A new website will be online within a few days and a new vision for the future has begun to become a reality.

However, the enemy is not slowing down and our phone lines are being flooded with harassing calls. Someone has even hacked into the phone system and made over $5300 worth of calls using our old number. Now we even have to fight the phone company.

As the new battles begin, PLEASE PRAY FOR US AT HAFS and rest assured that anything you can to help is greatly appreciated.

God has promised, “The battle is His”. So join me in praising him that “all that is meant for evil is being changed to good.” Praise with me for the strength to renew the outreach around the world for those who desire change, and, with the total victory assured, Praise with me for the new beginning God is providing in my life.

Your brother and servant in Christ,


Doug M.
Coordinator HAFS

 

Homosexuals Anonymous

 



Eine Gemeinschaft von Männern und Frauen, die aufgrund ihrer gemeinsamen Erfahrungen den Entschluss gefasst haben, sich gegenseitig dabei zu helfen, frei von Homosexualität zu leben.



Homosexuals Anonymous (nicht zu verwechseln mit Gruppen wie Anonyme Alkoholiker!) ist eine weltweite christliche Selbsthilfeorganisation, die mit einem überaus umfangreichen 14-Schritte Programm arbeitet, das Menschen zum einen wieder zurück zum christlichen Glauben bringen und zum anderen auch über die psychologischen und soziologischen Ursachen und Auswirkungen von Homosexualität aufklären soll. HA unterhälte in mehreren Ländern lokale Gruppen sowie ein weltweites Online-Programm. Sämtliche Leistungen sind kostenlos. Die Moderatoren von HA sind selbst Betroffene, die allerdings in der Therapie schon sehr viel weiter sind. Dies garantiert sowohl ein enormes Verantwortungsbewußtsein für die Gruppe alsauch einen Respekt der anderen Brüder bzw. Schwestern, da ihnen klar ist, ihr Moderator / ihre Moderatorin weiß genau, wovon er/sie spricht. Das Programm hat mittlerweile weltweit schon vielen Tausenden von Menschen geholfen. Der Vorteil von HA: Menschen können teilnehmen, solange sie wollen (oft über Jahre, sie können zu jedem Zeitpunkt einsteigen, sie erhalten menschliche Wärme und Zuneigung sowie Stabilität, Disziplin und die nötigen Informationen in einer Gruppe von Gleichgesinnten - und selbst wenn sie einmal fallen und die Gruppe verlassen sollten, können sie jederzeit zurückkehren. HA ist völlig anonym und diskret und bietet Menschen mit gleichgeschlechtlichen Neigungen einen sicheren Hafen. Vereinbare noch heute einen unverbindlichen Gesprächstermin unter 089/78018960 oder email!


Was die Selbsthilfegruppen betrifft, so musst du weder ein Einführungsseminar dafür besuchen noch irgendwelche Kosten entrichten. Unsere Selbsthilfegruppen folgen dem 14-Schritte Programm von Homosexuals Anonymous, das in jahrzehntelanger Übung weltweit wöchentlich praktiziert wird. Zusätzlich legen wir uns wöchentlich Rechenschaft über die vergangene Woche ab, um uns gegenseitig zu unterstützen und ermutigen sowie auf mögliche Defizite und Nachlässigkeiten hinzuweisen und ebensolche in Zukunft vermeiden zu helfen. Charakteristisch für unsere Selbsthilfegruppen sind starke emotionale Bande zwischen den Mitgliedern - eben die Bande, die so wichtig für die Heilung sind und nur erreicht werden, wenn man sich auf einer Stufe mit den Betroffenen sieht - und nicht als deren Therapeut oder Lehrer/Dozent. Wenn jemand von uns fällt, helfen ihm die anderen in liebevoller Weise, wieder aufzustehen. Wir tragen Freud und Leid gemeinsam und helfen uns gegenseitig, als Christen zu wachsen. Wir wissen, dass es nahezu aussichtslos ist, eine Heilung alleine angehen zu wollen. Die emotionalen Defizite, die viele von uns im Laufe ihres Lebens erfahren haben und die wir mit dem Ausleben unserer Homosexualität befriedigen wollten, werden hier bei uns auf gesunde und biblische Weise befriedigt. Du wirst dich bestimmt wohl fühlen bei uns!

Charakteristisch auch, dass sich ein Moderator von HA ebenso öffnet wie die anderen Mitglieder. Er legt ihnen genauso Rechenschaft ab, liest mit ihnen die Bibel, unterstützt seine Brüder (ihre Schwestern) und lässt sich von ihnen unterstützen und beraten. Wir sind der festen Überzeugung, dass man nur wirklich zum Herzen eines Menschen durchdringt und gegenseitige emotionale Bedürfnisse erfüllen kann, wenn man selbst auf der gleichen Ebene wie alle anderen steht. Wenn die Mitglieder nur kommen, um sich einen Vortrag anzuhören, oder einem Schema F zu folgen und danach vorzugehen, wird sich dieses so extrem wichtige emotionale Band nie entwickeln.

Komm' zu uns und lasse dir helfen!




We sometimes take the steps from the group as only a technique to allow us to "do".  From the beginning of the program the I have made the steps a way of life.
I understand that only through the simplicity of those steps can I see the drama vanish and the peace of God come to my heart.  It is nothing I do!  It is something I acknowledge as already being finished.  It is believing against belief that God really does give the peace he promises!  Then I follow the last part of philippians 4 and think on the good things, knowing that the bad things have been taken by God and I reeally do not need to worry about them.  

In those texts the answers to your prayers are not guaranteed to be what "we think" we must have.  It is the inner peace that comes from "knowing" that the unsolvable is in the hands of the One that can solve it all that brings true rest from the drama. Peace is the guarantee!

Doug. M.
Co-founder of  HA





About HAFS


Homosexuals Anonymous (HA) is a Christian fellowship of men and women who have chosen to help each other to live free from homosexuality. The purpose of H.A. is to support individuals seeking that freedom. Group support is available through weekly H.A. meetings. Guidance is received through the shared experiences and growth of others. Strength is acquired by training the faith response through the 14 steps.

HA is non-sectarian and works inter- and nondenominationally.

HA does not endorse or oppose any political causes. It is NOT a crusade against "gay" organizations or movements. It does not wish to engage in any controversial issues that would draw members' energies away from the goal of maturing in their relationships with those around them and rediscovering their true identity through a restored relationship with God through Jesus Christ.



 


Jeffrey Keefe, who received his doctorate in clinical psychology from Fordham University, said: “In my judgment, Homosexuals Anonymous.. .provides the most effective program, because it combines needed group support which
in turn fosters self-acceptance and self-insight, with the spiritual dimension essential for any radical change. Individual therapy may be needed to supplement group therapy.” [in John Harvey, The Homosexual Person, p. 76]

David Neff, senior associate editor of Christianity Today, writes. “For those who wish to conquer their addiction and turn away from a homosexual orientation, there is Homosexuals Anonymous.” [The Crisis of Homosexuality,
p. 98]



 
Was hat es mit diesen 14 Schritten auf sich?

Diese 14 Schritte sollen dir dabei helfen, dein gebrochenes Verhältnis zu Gott wiederherzustellen. Heilung kann ein langer Weg sein. Diesen Weg sind vor dir schon viele andere gegangen und haben dokumentiert, was ihnen dabei am meisten geholfen hat bzw. wie sich ihre Heilung vollzogen hat. Wenn irgendwie möglich, solltest du diese Schritte auch zusammen mit Gleichgesinnten durcharbeiten.

 




Charakteristika einer lokalen HA-Gruppe

- Ehrlichkeit
- Vertrauen
- Vertraulichkeit
- Hoffnung (kein Überbewerten von Fehlschlägen)
- Kommunikation (die Mitglieder sollen sich frei fühlen, ihre aufgewühlten Gefühle im Rahmen eines Treffens zu äußern und mit der Gruppe zuteilen)
- Teilen von Erfahrungen des inneren Wachstums (wir teilen den inneren Kampf – aber auch die Entdeckung innerer Stärke)
- Die Akzeptanz verschiedener Stufen des Wachstums bei den Mitgliedern, von verschiedenen Lebensstilen, verschiedener Gemeindezugehörigkeitsowie von den verschiedenen Persönlichkeiten und Eigenheiten der einzelnen Mitglieder (Art sich zu kleiden, Charakterzüge...)
- Erwartungen (es ist genauso wichtig, Unterstützung zu geben wie zu bekommen)
- Freundschaft in der Gruppe (Problem: die meisten Mitglieder haben tiefe innere emotionale Konflikte).
- Sexuelle Kontakte innerhalb der Gruppe (wenn du dich in deiner Beziehung zu einem Gruppenmitglied unwohl fühlst, sprich ihn/sie direkt darauf an. Du hilfst ihnen vielleicht dabei, einen Fehltritt zu vermeiden. Wenn man dich je bitten sollte, dich unangemessen sexuell mit jemanden zu betätigen oder unangemessen berührt wirst, diskutiere dies bitte mit den älteren Mitgliedern. Wir glauben nicht an Verurteilung oder Ausschluss aus der Gruppe – zumindest nicht, wenn der/die Betroffene weiterhin frei von Homosexualität sein will. Wir bitten dich, dass du mitmachst, uns gegenseitig bei der Konfrontation mit unseren Problemen zu unterstützen und zu lernen, frei von Homosexualität zu leben. Die einzige Bedingung für eine Mitgliedschaft bei uns ist der Wille, frei von Homosexualität zu sein. Es ist durchaus möglich, Freiheit zu wollen, aber immer noch sexuell aktiv zu sein. Eine liebevolle Konfrontation mit den älteren Gruppenmitgliedern und die Dynamik einer Versöhnung ist besser als einAusschluss. Wachstum braucht sehr viel Geduld.




•Homosexuals Anonymous Fellowship Services (H.A.F.S.) ist die Zentrale der Homosexuals-Anonymous Gruppen in Nordamerika. H.A.F.S. ist keine Kontrollorganisation, sondern eher ein Servicezentrum, das Unterstützung und Führung beim Aufbau von H.A.-Gruppen gibt, für die Kommunikation im Netzwerk sorgt (etwa durch den Newsletter) und Material liefert, das im gesamten Netzwerk verwendet wird. Jede lokale Gruppe aber ist autonom und entwickelt oft auch eigene Konzepte – aufbauend auf den 14 Schritten. Der soziale und religiöse Hintergrund jeder Gruppe ist unterschiedlich – so auch ihre Vorgehensweise. Lokale Gruppen werden jedoch gebeten, neue Ideen an die Zentrale weiterzugeben, damit diese über den Newsletter verbreitet werden und so auch andere Gruppen davon profitieren können.




Anonymität

•In der Gruppe 
•Nach außen: niemand tritt im Namen von HA auf oder gibt sich als Teil davon zu erkennen. 
•HA beteiligt sich nicht an öffentlichen Diskussionen, da dies Energie vom Ziel wegnehmen würde. Wir wollen in den Beziehungen mit den Menschen um uns herum reifen und unsere wahre Identität in Christus erkennen.



Wenn du an dem Online-Programm oder einer lokalen Gruppe von HA teilnimmst, sollte dir klar sein, dass du damit auch bestimmte Verpflichtungen eingehst. Du solltest etwa wöchentlich einen Gottesdienst besuchen, regelmäßig in der Bibel lesen, deinen Brüdern (Schwestern) wöchentlich Rechenschaft ablegen, deine Hausaufgaben wöchentlich erledigen (die wöchentlichen Lektionen lesen und einige Fragen hierzu  beantworten) sowie aktiv am Online-Programm bzw. an der Gruppe teilnehmen. Unser Programm ist zwar kostenlos, wir verlangen aber von den Teilnehmern schon die Bereitschaft zur aktiven Mitarbeit an der eigenen Therapie sowie eine entsrpechende Einstellung einschlägiger sexueller Aktivitäten. Eine andauernde Weigerung, irgendetwas für die eingene Therapie zu tun, würde zum Ausschluss führen, da es den Brüdern und Schwestern gegenüber nicht fair ist. Allerdings möchten wir betonen, dass wir selbst dann den Teilnehmer jederzeit wieder aufnehmen. Jesus hat uns gelehrt, Menschen zu vergeben. Wenn sie hundertmal gegen uns gesündigt haben und hundertmal bereuen, so sollen wir ihnen auch hundertmal vergeben. HA wird immer ein sicherer Hafen für diejenigen sein, die sich von ihren gleichgeschlechtlichen Neigungen befreien wollen. Für uns zählt letztendlich der Wille, frei von Homosexualität sein zu wollen. Selbst wenn du also fallen solltest, wäre das noch kein Ausschlussgrund für uns, solange du noch den Willen zur Freiheit hast.





Wie entstand H.A. (Homosexuals Anonymous)?

H.A. begann im November 1980, nachdem zwei Männer – Colin, ein ehemaliger Pfarrer und Doug, ein ehemaliger Schulrektor – ihre Ideen zusammenbrachten, wie man anderen das weitergeben könnte, was ihnen selbst auf ihrem Weg aus der Homosexualität heraus geholfen hatte. Colin und Doug schauten sich zusammen die Tagebücher an, die Colin fünf Jahre lang geführt hatte, und versuchten, die Prinzipien herauszufiltern, die ihm bei seinem Wachstum geholfen hatten. Aus dieser Analyse entstanden die 14 Schritte von Homosexuals Anonymous. Neun der Schritte stammen aus Colins Tagebüchern und die anderen fünf Schritte wurden in modifizierter Form von den Anonymen Alkoholikern übernommen.

Warum Anonymität?

Das gesellschaftliche Stigma der Homosexualität spielt oft eine Rolle in der Entscheidung, ob jemand Hilfe sucht oder nicht. H.A.-Mitglieder anerkennen daher, dass Vertraulichkeit unbedingt gewährleistet sein muss, wenn sie Menschen erreichen und ihnen erfolgreich helfen möchten. H.A. verspricht allen, die an Treffen teilnehmen, persönliche Anonymität. Es werden nur Vornamen benutzt. Alles, was während eines Treffens besprochen wird, bleibt in der Gruppe und wird nicht nach außen getragen. Obwohl die Anonymität jedes einzelnen Mitglieds sehr hoch geachtet wird, brennen manche Menschen darauf, andere an ihren Erfolgen, die sie H.A. verdanken, teilhaben zu lassen, beispielsweise die Familie, Freunde und andere Gruppen. Es ist ihre ganz persönliche Entscheidung, ein öffentliches Zeugnis zu geben.

Wie organisiert sich H.A.?

Die lokalen Gruppen sind Teil eines Netzwerks, das unter der Leitung von Homosexuals Anonymous Fellowship Services (HAFS) agiert, die ihren Sitz in Reading (Pennsylvania/USA) haben. Zur Zeit gibt es Gruppen in den USA, Kanada, Australien und Deutschland. Die Gruppen arbeiten nach der Philosophie und den Richtlinien von HAFS. Für Menschen, die eine Gruppe starten wollen, bietet H.A. das ganze Jahr über Trainingsseminare an.

Wer kann bei H.A. teilnehmen?

Einzige Voraussetzung für die Teilnahme an einer H.A.-Gruppe ist der Wunsch, von Homosexualität befreit werden zu wollen und ein Leben frei von Homosexualität leben zu wollen.

Wenn ich von Homosexualität befreit werde, werde ich dann immer noch ich selbst sein?

Freiheit von Homosexualität ist nicht so sehr eine Frage der Veränderung als viel mehr ein Finden zum wahren Selbst. Homosexualität ist eine Selbstbegrenzung der Persönlichkeit. Die Gnade Gottes bringt unsere wahre Persönlichkeit nach und nach zum Vorschein und befähigt uns, zu den Menschen zu werden, die wir schon immer sein wollten, aber befürchteten, dass wir sie nie sein würden.

Fördert H.A. die Homosexualität?

H.A. glaubt, dass es „den homosexuellen Menschen“ nicht gibt, nur Männer und Frauen, die von Gott heterosexuell erschaffen worden sind, die aber aufgrund der gefallenen Welt, in der wir leben, verwirrt sind über ihre sexuelle Identität. H.A.-Mitglieder stellen sich nicht vor, indem sie sagen: „Hallo, ich bin Manfred und ich bin schwul“. Es ist das Paradox von Homosexuals Anonymous, dass Menschen, die daran teilnehmen, mit der Zeit entdecken, dass sie nicht das sind, wofür sie sich gehalten haben. Die Gemeinschaft von H.A. trägt also nicht zum Fortbestand der homosexuellen Subkultur bei, sondern eher zu ihrem Rückgang.






Funktionen bei HA

Moderator


Wird normalerweise von der Gruppe gewählt und dient 14 Wochen lang. Moderiert die wöchentlichen Treffen, sorgt dafür, dass alle kommen,leitet den Vorstiz, sorgt evtl. auch für Erfrischungen, nötiges Material usw.

Step Guide

Wird normalerweise von der Gruppe gewählt und dient 14 Wochen lang. Leitet die Diskussion um die 14 Schritte, indem er auf die Ressourcen von HA (etwa das Arbeitsbuch) zurückgreift. Er spricht über den einzelnen Schritt, gibt eine Einführung, erklärt wie er/sie selbst ihn verwendet hatund was er für ihn/sie bedeutet.

Bei größeren Gruppen gibt es auch Kassierer (es wird ein Korb herumgereicht, wo jede/r einen kleinen Beitrag zur Deckung der Unkosten leistet.






James E. Phelan, MSW, Psy.D, Practical Exercises for Men in Recovery of Same-Sex Attraction (SSA), $25.00. Available from HAFS

Have you finished the HA workbook on the 14 Steps and are you wondering, “Where do I go from here?” This book may be just what you are looking for.

Here are practical exercises developed by a professional therapist to help you deal with issues like abuse, same sex wounds, opposite sex wounds, family problems, relational healing, cognitive restructuring, anger, behavior modification and (one I found personally helpful after all these years) feelings.

The exercises are practical—the kinds of thing a therapist might suggest that you do—and, if you are thinking of therapy, can save you a great deal of money if you do them first and then get therapy later.

Dr. Phelan is a therapist himself with a master’s degree is Social Work (MSW) from Marywood University and a doctorate degree in Psychology from the Southern California University. He has received training from men like Dr. Joseph Nicolosi and Dr. Charles W. Socarides and has specialized in therapy, consultation, and research particular to male same-sex attraction since 1994.

Using this book will be much like having your own private therapist available to give you pointers and help you gain insight whenever you need him. We recommend this book highly!


http://www.ha-fs.org/October_2006








 


Ablauf eines Gruppentreffens:

1. Gebet
2. Neuigkeiten, evtl. kurze Buch- oder Artikelbesprechung usw.
3. Wenn ein neues Mitglied anwesend ist: kurze Vorstellung der anderen mit Darstellung des persönlichen Hintergrunds.
4. Rechenschaftsbericht jedes Mitglieds.
5. „Step Study“ (Lektion aus dem HA-Arbeitsbuch): Lesen der Lektion und der dazugehörenden Bibelstellen sowie Diskussion des Inhalts undBeantwortung der dazugehörenden Fragen. Evtl. Beantwortung der zuhause bearbeiteten Aufgaben.
6. Evtl. Ansehen einer themenbezogenen DVD.
7. Gebet.

(plus Möglichkeit eines Gesprächs mit dem Step Coach)






Dear Group, Time for another introduction,  For the last few weeks I have been trying to understand the way the on line groups are working so I just observed. The reason for this is that I have been out of active participation with HA for a while.
I just wanted to see how things are going.  I am impressed!  The computer thing is a little hard for me but I am learning.  (I feel for the deletion thing, been there and it will drive the sanest of us nuts)

In my original introduction I mentioned that I had been dealing with the SSA issue for over 40 years.  in fact, The Lord blessed me with a complete victory over the SSA issues and allowed me to have a small part in the founding of HA.  Colin C. and I put together the program that you are so faithfully following in this group about 28 years ago.  (after all those years both Colin and I are still free.  He had a fall many years ago but has applied our program and has regained all he lost in freedom.)

I am married to the same beautiful woman (34 years) have three children and several grandchildren. God has given all he promised and more!!  When anyone asks me is change really possible I answer, Absolutely YES!!! and it is more than worth the struggle.  Hang in there
guys,  God isn't finished with you yet and he won't be until you are completely free.

Over the past few years I have been drawn back into the active side of ministry and written 2 books. I am also beginning a new seminar ministry where we will travel anywhere if the funds are available and try to help with the education process.  My books are very
simple in format and are designed to reach the youngest person desiring change.  (I discovered Simple is better because we tend to get lost in the fancy words and lose sight of the simplicity of the Gospel.


I hope you all will forgive the "little over site" and allow me be here and chat with you.  I also do some pastoral phone counseling if anyone wants it.  

My website is www.acceptancefellowship.org  

God bless you all


Doug M.



How HA should be

There are certain basic principles which all of us must follow if HA is to do its job of helping people find freedom from homosexuality. Three important ones begin with the letter A. We shall look at each of them over the next few months.

The first principle is anonymity. This is foundational for the entire program. It assures those who come to us for help that their struggles will be kept confidential It reminds us all that we are always to place principles above personalities. There are two levels at which anonymity must function.

On the personal level: We know that the social stigma attached to a homosexual struggle is often a factor in a person's decision whether or not to seek help. Many stay isolated for fear of exposure. Therefore HA members recognize that a firm assurance of confidentiality is imperative if we wish to succeed in attracting and helping other people wishing to find freedom from homosexuality. This is one reason we've chosen the name Homosexuals Anonymous. It offers the assurance to men and women who are considering seeking help with their struggle that they will find personal anonymity to all who attend our meetings. First names only are used. If a new person wishes to give out personal information, of course he or she is free to do so, but no one should feel pressured to reveal anything about themselves that they do not feel comfortable sharing. Personal information shared during any meeting is treated as confidential. Some people experiencing freedom from homosexuality are eager to share the good news of their HA affiliation with family, friends, and other support groups. They are, of course, free to do so, but such disclosure is their own choice.

On the public level: Anonymity does not prevent HA members from following the biblical call to testify from their own experience. We can speak of our recovering experience in Jesus and our association with HA to our family, to a church, to a university audience, or at any gathering where the press, radio, or television are not present. When the media are present or where we choose to go into print, HAFS urges that we either use only first names and last initials and allow no photographs, or testify under full personal identity without referring to our association with HA Fellowship. When HA is covered in the media, it is the Christ-centered principles of the Fellowship by which men and women are finding freedom from homosexuality that should be referred to. The principles rather than the individual personalities are the key when it comes to HA media coverage.

Adhering to the principle of anonymity protects both the individual and the Fellowship. The individual is protected from identification as a homosexual and, should he or she have a setback in the recovery process, from being held up to ridicule by those who seem so desperately eager to prove that freedom from homosexuality is impossible. The Fellowship is protected from anyone who might otherwise exploit HA affiliation for personal gain or glory.

It is well for us all to remember that we who struggle with homosexuality often suffer from low self-esteem. An unhealthy longing for recognition and applause can poison us. We must remember not to seek the spotlight for ourselves, but to see that, in this program, it remains where it should be-centered on our Lord Jesus Christ!

-- John J

 






Brothers,

some of you might ask themselves what it's worth to take part in HA-online.
Doing step studies and accountability check ups every week doesn't seem to be  a big help to you. You might consider these points, however:

1) In many countries and for many people HA online is the only help they get. Other than that there is nothing. No help. Zero.
2) It does give your daily life a certain structure. You will have to read the Bible on a daily basis, go to a service weekly, look for healthy male realtionships and hold yourself accountable to the other brothers in here as to your sexually acting out. That is extremely necessary and important for you, expecially if there are no local support groups in your area.
3) HA can change your whole life if you really take an active part in it and follow the instructions. See it as a helping hand - reaching out for you. It is YOUR decision if you take it or not.
4) You will also get many practical advices as to how to manage your daily life, your daily temptations, what to read, which decisions to take and so on.
5) HA online is there for you 365 days a year. For free.
6) It also helps you grow as a Christian in general.
7) If you are open to that, you will find many friends in here. Many brothers call or email each other in private or even pay each other visits. Some even bonded to each other, which means they started to build lifetime healthy male relationships among themselves to help eachother grow and also fill the legitimate need for male love - again in a healthy way.
8) HA online might be the first step for you if you are still hesitant whether or not to take part in a local chapter.
9) You can be really open to the brothers in here and tell them things you can and should not tell your wife or others around you.
10) Our plan is to help each other by sharing each others feelings and helping each other up once we fall. Where else do you get that?

And most of all:

We love you.

Robert 






 

Espagnol

 

 

es un cuerpo de hombres y mujeres, que atraves de una experiencia emocional en comun, estan decidos a ayudarse los unos a los otros parar vivir libres de la homosexualidad.

Sí eres una persona en conflicto con sentimientos homosexuales; sí eres un padre, una madre, pariente o amigo de alguien batallando contra la homosexualidad y que necesite ayuda; sí eres un ministro, consejero o terapista buscando a un grupo de apoyo para referrir a un paciente que quiere librarse de la homosexualidad, entonces, lea por favor nuestra pagina en la red cybernetica. Aprendera quienes somos y como podemos ayudarle.

Bienvenido a nuestra pagina en la red cybernertica.




Unser Programm

Frage: Ihr verwendet ein 14-Schritte Programm. Ist das nicht dasselbe wie diese 12-Schritte-Programme zur Behandlung von Suchtproblemen? Damit wird doch nur eine Verhaltensänderung erreicht!


Antwort: Ein Teil unserer Schritte wurde tatsächlich von den klassischen 12-Schritte Programmen übernommen und speziell für die Bedürfnisse von Menschen mit gleichgeschlechtlichen Neigungen angepasst, weil sie für hilfesuchende Menschen sehr hilfreich sein können. Zumal auch Suchtproblematiken und damit verbundene zu erzielende Verhaltensänderungen hier eine große Rolle spielen.


Sehen wir uns unsere 14 Schritte doch mal an:



14 Steps of HA

 

1. We admitted that we were powerless over our homosexuality and that our emotional lives were unmanageable. (Wir haben uns eingestanden, dass wir unserer Homosexualität machtlos gegenüber stehen und dass wir unser Gefühlsleben nicht mehr im Griff haben).

2. We came to believe the love of God, who forgave us and accepted us in spite of all that we are and have done. (Wir haben begonnen, an die Liebe Gottes zu glauben, der uns vergeben und angenommen hat trotz allem, was wir sind und getan haben).

3. We learned to see purpose in our suffering, that our failed lives were under God's control, who is able to bring good out of trouble. (Wir haben gelernt, einen Sinn in unserem Leiden zu sehen. Wir haben ebenso gelernt, dass unsere gefallenen Leben unter Gottes Kontrolle sind, der Gutes aus all dem Schlechten hervorbringen kann).

4. We came to believe that God had already broken the power of homosexuality and that He could therefore restore our true personhood. (Wir haben begonnen, daran zu glauben, dass Gott die Macht der Homosexualität schon gebrochen hat und deshalb unsere wahre Persönlichkeit wiederherstellen konnte).

5. We came to perceive that we had accepted a lie about ourselves, an illusion that had trapped us in a false identity. (Uns ist klar geworden, dass wir an eine Lüge über uns selbst geglaubt haben, eine Illusion, die uns in eine falsche Identität gelockt hat).

6. We learned to claim our true reality that as humankind, we are part of God's heterosexual creation and that God calls us to rediscover that identity in Him through Jesus Christ, as our faith perceives Him. (Wir haben gelernt, unsere wahre Realität zu beanspruchen. Als Menschen sind wir nämlich Teil von Gottes heterosexueller Schöpfung und Gott will, dass wir diese Identität in Ihm durch Jesus Christus wieder entdecken - so wie Ihn unser Glaube wahrnimmt).

7. We resolved to entrust our lives to our loving God and to live by faith, praising Him for our new unseen identity, confident that it would become visible to us in God's good time. (Wir haben uns entschlossen, unsere Leben unseren liebenden Gott anzuvertrauen und im Glauben zu leben, indem wir ihn für unsere neue unsichtbare Identität preisen und darauf vertrauen, dass diese Identität für uns sichtbar wird, sobald Gott dies will).

8. As forgiven people free from condemnation, we made a searching and fearless moral inventory of ourselves, determined to root out fear, hidden hostility, and contempt for the world. (Als Menschen, denen vergeben wurde und die frei von Verurteilung sind, haben wir eine furchtlose moralische Bestandsaufnahme von uns selbst gemacht und sind entschlossen, Furcht, versteckte Feindseligkeit und Verachtung für die Welt auszumerzen).

9. We admitted to God, to ourselves, and to another human being the exact nature of our wrongs and humbly asked God to remove our defects of character. (Wir haben vor Gott, vor uns selbst und vor einem anderen Menschen all unsere Fehler schonungslos eingestanden und Gott demütig gebeten, die negativen Aspekte unseres Charakters zu entfernen).

10. We willingly made direct amends wherever wise and possible to all people we had harmed. (Wir haben versucht, soweit als möglich jeglichen Schaden, den wir anderen zugefügt haben, wieder gut zu machen).

11. We determined to live no longer in fear of the world, believing that God's victorious control turns all that is against us into our favor, bringing advantage out of sorrow and order from disaster. (Wir haben uns entschlossen, nicht mehr länger in Furcht vor der Welt zu leben, da wir glauben, dass Gottes siegreiche Kontrolle alles, was gegen uns steht, zu unseren Gunsten wendet und etwas Gutes aus den Sorgen hervorbringt sowie Ordnung aus dem Chaos).

12. We determined to mature in our relationships with men and women, learning the meaning of a partnership of equals, seeking neither dominance over people nor servile dependency on them. (Wir sind entschlossen, in unseren Beziehungen zu Männern und Frauen zu reifen und die Bedeutung einer Partnerschaft von gleichberechtigten Partnern zu lernen, wobei wir weder Dominanz über Menschen noch Abhängigkeit von ihnen suchen),

13. We sought through confident praying, and the wisdom of Scripture for an ongoing growth in our relationship with God and a humble acceptance of His guidance for our lives. (Wir haben durch vertrauensvolles Beten und die Weisheit der Bibel ein andauerndes Wachsen unserer Beziehung zu Gott gesucht, sowie ein demütiges Annehmen Seiner Führung für unser Leben).

14. Having had a spiritual awakening, we tried to carry this message to homosexual people with a love that demands nothing and to practice these steps in all our lives' activities, as far as lies within us. (Nachdem wir ein spirituelles Erwachen erleben durften, versuchen wir nun, diese Botschaft an andere Menschen mit gleichgeschlechtlichen Neigungen heranzutragen - mit einer Liebe, die nichts verlangt und nichts fordert. Wir werden diese Schritte in allen Bereichen unseres Lebens praktizieren, so weit uns dies möglich ist).




Selbst ohne hier die Schritte näher zu erläutern, dürft schon anhand der Titel für jeden nachvollziehbar sein, dass es hier um weit mehr als nur um Verhaltensänderungen geht.

Selbst konventionelle 12-Schritte Programme konzentrieren sich nicht alleine auf das Verhalten. Ohne eine grundlegende Änderung der inneren Einstellung wäre wohl auch ein Suchtproblem nicht zu meistern. Selbst wenn diese innere Änderung noch nicht da ist, ist es aber unerlässlich, das Verhalten zu ändern!

Inzwischen gibt es auch 12-Schritte Programme auf christlicher Basis, die den Rahmen noch erheblich erweitern. Hier kann schon längst nicht mehr nur von reinen Verhaltensänderungen gesprochen werden.

Homosexuals Anonymous mit seinen 14 Schritten geht noch erheblich weiter. Bei uns steht Gott im Mittelpunkt.

Douglas McIntyre, Mitgründer von HA, hat in einem Vortrag auf der internationalen Konferenz von HA im September 2006 gemeint: "Der Grund, warum viele nicht geheilt werden, ist, weil sie nicht wirklich glauben, dass es geschehen kann!" Weiterhin meinte er, als sie damals (zeitgleich mit Exodus vor ca. 30 Jahren!) angefangen haben, hatten sie keine der vielen schlauen psychologischen Bücher (so nützlich sie auch sein mögen). Alles, was sie hatten, war die Bibel. Und das ist auch alles, was Doug bis heute hat. Wer ihn getroffen hat, kann bezeugen, was für eine unglaubliche Ausstrahlung von ihm ausgeht und welch starken Glauben er vermittelt. Er ist inzwischen Familienvater mit erwachsenen Kindern!

Kürzlich meinte jemand, man dürfe den Menschen nicht erzählen, ihr Glaube könne sie heilen. Damit würde man sie nur frustrieren. Sowas machen nur Charismatiker. Vielmehr solle man wohl all den psychologischen Konzepten hinterherlaufen, die es momentan gibt.

Dazu folgendes: es ist ein Armutszeugnis, eine Bankrotterklärung dem christlichen Glauben gegenüber, so etwas auch nur zu denken. (Nützliche Bibelstellen hierzu gibt es viele. Wie wäre es mit Apostelgeschichte Kapitel drei und vier?).

Wir achten und respektieren all diejenigen, die mit besten Absichten - und vielen psychologischen Konzepten Menschen mit ungewollten gleichgeschlechtlichen Neigungen helfen möchten. Sicherlich ist vieles davon hilfreich und die Arbeit, die diese Menschen leisten, außerordentlich.

Wir möchten aber davor warnen, alleine diesem Bereich zu vertrauen und sich von der Macht des Glaubens zu verabschieden. Im allgemeinen ist niemand dieser - wenn auch gutmeinenden - Helfer Psychiater, Psychologe oder Psychotherapeut, die tatsächlichen wissenschaftlichen Fachkenntnisse sind also sehr begrenzt. Zum anderen betrachtet moderne Wissenschaft Homosexualität weder als Krankheit noch als psychische Störung, daher auch nicht als behandlungsbedürftig. Homosexualität wird als gleichwertige Form sexuellen Begehrens gesehen.

Selbst wenn man aber Psychologe o.ä. wäre - Wissenschaft kann sich ändern. Der Glaube und die Bibel, auf der er sich gründet, bleibt felsenfest.

Soll man sich also zurück lehnen und nichts tun, da Gott uns ja "heilt" ("heilt" im christlichen Sinne, nicht im psychotherapeutischen)?

Nein. Gott hat von uns immer verlangt, dass wir uns aktiv für Ihn entscheiden. Dass wir unseren Teil tun und täglich unser Kreuz auf uns nehmen und Ihm nachfolgen - egal, wie schwer und lange es dauern wird. Natürlich und selbstverständlich kann Er uns auch "auf einen Schlag" heilen - und hat dies auch schon bei Menschen getan. Aber Er alleine entscheidet, ob wir durch einen Lernprozess gehen sollen und Ihm so immer wieder bezeugen können, dass wir in jeder Situation zu Ihm halten, oder ob wir alleine durch die Kraft unseres Glaubens in kürzester Zeit frei sind.

Psychologie und das Verstehen von Hintergründen, die zur Entstehung unserer gleichgeschlechtlichen Neigungen beigetragen haben, ist sicherlich wichtig - und mit ihr die Arbeit, die sich darauf gründet.

Psychologie alleine liefert aber weder die Motivation noch den Weg, um Freiheit ("Freiheit" wiederum im christlichen Sinn) zu erlangen. Psychologie kann sich ändern - der Glaube nicht. Was weltliche Wissenschaft betrifft, kann man sich immer irren. Die Bibel bleibt.

Letztendlich ist es für mich als Christ zwar interessant, zu erfahren, welche Faktoren zu meiner Neigung beigetragen haben, letztlich aber zweitrangig. Gott hat mich mehrfach in ungewöhnlich scharfer Form davor gewarnt, dieser Neigung nachzugeben - gleich welche Ursache sie hat. Und dies hat Er nicht getan, weil Er mich gerne herum kommandiert, sondern weil Er mich liebt und nicht will, dass mir etwas geschieht. Er weiß um die Konsequenzen meines Tuns, sollte ich mich von Ihm abwenden.


Was die Findung unserer wahren Identität betrifft, so ist dies bei HA ein zentraler Punkt. Unter Identität verstehen wir aber nicht dasselbe wie weltliche Wissenschaft. Unsere wahre Identität finden wir auch nicht in Büchern von Nicolosi & Co - so wichtig sie auch sein mögen. Unsere wahre Identität finden wir alleine in dem, als dessen Ebenbild wir geschaffen wurden: in Gott. Wenn wir zu Ihm aufschauen, sehen wir unser wahres Ich.


In HA verwenden wir viele Hilfsmittel, die uns und anderen geholfen haben, unsere Situation zu verstehen. Seien es nun hilfreiche Bücher, die wir zusammen lesen und besprechen, Filme, die wir anschauen oder gemeinsame Aktivitäten.

Wichtig ist für uns, nicht nur vor dem Bösen wegzulaufen (Vermeidungsstrategien und Ablenkungstechniken, auch wenn uns diese unterstützen, uns nicht in Gefahr zu begeben), sondern auch zum Guten hin zu laufen (unsere wahre Identität in Jesus Christus zu finden, wenn möglich zerbrochene Beziehungen zu Freunden und Verwandten wieder her zu stellen, sinnvolle Aktivitäten zu finden. sich sozial und in der Gemeinde zu engagieren, tägliches Gebet und Bibelstudium sowie gesunde gleichgeschlechtliche Beziehungen um das hinter Homosexualität stehende Bedürfnis auf gesunde art und Weise zu befriedigen - und natürlich der Aufbau unserer Männlichkeit/Weiblichkeit). Robert bietet z.B. auch das "Men's Fraternity"-Programm an (siehe www.freewebs.com/mensfraternity).

Hier etwa unser Rechenschaftsbericht. Dieser war ursprünglich nicht Teil von HA, wurde aber zuerst im Online-Programm, dann auch in lokalen Gruppen eingeführt. Zum einen folgt er dem biblischen Prinzip, sich gegenseitig Verfehlungen einzugestehen (nur Sünde sucht die Verborgenheit! Bekennen ist der erste Schritt zur Vergebung!), zum anderen hilft uns dieser Bericht, unsere Aufmerksamkeit auf zentrale Punkte zu lenken.

Im Gegensatz zu traditionellen 12-Schritte Programmen ist hierbei die Mitwirkung der Brüder und Schwestern erwünscht, die sich gegenseitig unterstützen und motivieren sollen. Es ist ausdrücklich gewünscht, sich gegenseitig vorzuschlagen, was man tun könnte, um es nächste Woche besser zu machen. Nicht, weil man gerne weise Ratschläge erteilt und sich besser fühlt als der Andere. Wir sitzen alle im selben Boot und sind uns dessen sehr wohl bewusst. Wir wollen uns gegenseitig helfen, und der Austausch von Tips und Erfahrungen hat sich als extrem hilfreich und auch von allen Seiten erwünscht gezeigt.


Hier ist er also:



Rechenschaftsbericht von Homosexuals Anonymous (online):

1) Hast du das Gefühl, du warst diese Woche in Verbindung mit Gott? Bitte erkläre dies.
2) An wie vielen Tagen hast du diese Woche eine ruhige Zeit mit Gott verbracht? (Alternativ: an wie vielen Tagen hast du in der Bibel gelesen?)
3) Was hat dich Gott diese Woche gelehrt?
4) Hast du diese Woche einen Gottesdienst besucht?  Wenn nicht, warum nicht? Und: wie sah es mit deinem Engagement in deiner Gemeinde, in sozialen Organisationen und für Menschen in Not aus?
5) Welche Schritte hast du diese Woche unternommen, um eine gesunde männliche (weibliche) Beziehung mit jemand zu beginnen oder fortzusetzen? 
6) Hast du das Gefühl, du hast diese Woche Fortschritte? Erkläre dies.
7) Hast du dich diese Woche sexuell betätigt?  (Masturbation, Pornographie  und jede andere homosexuelle Aktivität wie etwa Fantasien zuzulassen, unangemessene zweite Blicke auf jemand oder etwas. Sei bitte genau und sage uns, wie oft du das getan hast!)
8) Was könntest du nächste Woche tun, um deine Brüder (Schwestern) zu ermutigen und zu unterstützen? Wen im Besonderen?
9) Hast du diese Woche nützliche Literatur gelesen, Filme angesehen oder Veranstaltungen/Seminare besucht?
10) Erzähle uns von positiven Dingen, die letzte Woche geschehen sind und für die du dankbar sein solltest.
11) Hast du diese Woche dafür gesorgt, dass du genügend Erholung (Sport, Freizeitaktivitäten usw.) bekommen hast?
12) Hast du diese Fragen ehrlich beantwortet? Wenn nicht, warum nicht?
13) Möchtest du, dass wir für etwas beten?





Weitere Charakteristika von HA ist etwa die Dauer des durchschnittlichen Aufenthalts eines
Mitglieds in den Gruppen (prinzipiell kann jeder bleiben, so lange er will - die meisten
bleiben auch längee Zeit, oft sogar über mehrere Jahre).

Ebenso charakteristisch ist die enge Verbindung zwischen den Mitgliedern, die sich im Laufe
der Zeit aufbaut sowie der durchschnittlich hohe Informationsstand sowie die Motivation
unserer Leiter.

Wir sehen uns als eine Familie - und behandeln uns auch so.

Dies führt zu einem weiteren Punkt von HA: die nicht-hierarchische Struktur und die
familiäre Beziehung - auch auf internationaler Basis.

Zentraler Inhalt von HA ist und bleibt aber unser christlicher Glaube. Wissenschaft kann
und wird sich ändern - die Wahrheit der Bibel bleibt bestehen bis ans Ende aller Tage.

Wir haben erkannt, dass wir dort gescheitert sind, wo wir versucht haben, mit eigener
"Weisheit" Erfolg zu haben und das Ganze unter Kontrolle zu bringen. Jetzt, wo wir uns
voll und ganz Gott anvertraut haben, fühlen wir uns endlich sicher und geborgen.


Abschließend dürfen wir sagen, dass wir uns solidarisch mit allen Einrichtungen sehen, die
Menschen mit ungewollten gleichgeschlechtlichen Neigungen helfen wollen. Auch wenn unsere
zutiefst christliche Vorgehensweise sich vielleicht von anderen Einrichtungen unterscheidet,
sehen wir uns nicht als Konkurrenz oder gar als "besser" als andere, sondern als deren
Ergänzung.


Wir bieten jedem, der dies möchte, unsere helfende Hand an und gehen mit ihm oder ihr den
Weg hin zu Jesus!
 

Caution!

CAUTION! AN UNAUTHORIZED FACEBOOK SITE HAS BEEN POSTED. THIS SITE IS NOT AFFILLIATED WITH HOMOSEXUALS ANONYMOUS BUT IS USING THE NAME AND LOGO WITHOUT PERMISSION. DUE TO THE SECURITY QUESTIONS RAISED ON FACEBOOK PAGES IT IS RECOMMENDED THAT EXTREME CAUTION BE USED WHEN VISITING THIS SITE TO PROTECT YOUR IDENTITY. THE PERSON THAT POSTED THIS SITE IS CLAIMING TO BE THE "EXECUTIVE DIRECTOR" OF HA. HE IS NOT AND NEVER HAS BEEN AN OFFICER OF HOMOSEXUALS ANONYMOUS.

(Taken from http://www.ha-fs.org)

 

Homosexuals Anonymous

Homosexuals Anonymous (HA) is a Christian fellowship of men and women who have chosen to help each other to live free from homosexuality. The purpose of H.A. is to support individuals seeking that freedom. Group support is available through weekly H.A. meetings. Guidance is received through the shared experiences and growth of others. Strength is acquired by training the faith response through the 14 steps.

HA is non-sectarian and works inter- and nondenominationally.

HA does not endorse or oppose any political causes. It is NOT a crusade against "gay" organizations or movements. It does not wish to engage in any controversial issues that would draw members' energies away from the goal of maturing in their relationships with those around them and rediscovering their true identity through a restored relationship with God through Jesus Christ.

Homosexuals Anonymous, a Christian fellowship, holds the view that homosexual activity is not in harmony with the will of God and that the universal creation norm is heterosexuality.

Nevertheless, the great message of righteousness by faith in Christ brings mercy and hope to all people in homosexuality.

Christ, the Imago Dei (the Image of God), is the restoration of the creation image, in whom all men and women find their identity by faith.

The search for wholeness and heterosexuality within ourselves thus comes to an end. Men and women receive Christ as their image of God, in whom is their wholeness and heterosexuality. As a trained faith grasps this awareness, there is a breaking of the power of the homosexual inclination so that freedom from the homosexual drive and activity is a real possibility. H.A., however, does NOT believe that a change in homosexual inclination is a requirement for acceptance with God or entrance into the fellowship of the church.

Although deliverance from homosexual activity is the call of God, the healing of the homosexual inclination will vary according to growth and is a result of our faith identity with Christ, rather than as a way to it. Nevertheless, HA holds that the homosexual inclination may be healed and that all who desire it may realize their inborn, though fallen, heterosexuality, thus opening the way to heterosexual marriage and family.

How did Homosexuals Anonymous Begin?

Homosexuals Anonymous began in November of 1980 as a result of two men, Colin, a former minister, and Doug, a former school principal, pooling their ideas on how to pass on to others what they had experienced in recovery from homosexuality. Colin, who had kept a five-year journal of his growth, analyzed the principles of that growth with helpful evaluation from Doug. From this analysis the 14 Steps of Homosexuals Anonymous (HA) were born. Nine of the steps come from Colin's journals and five of the steps are modified from Alcoholics Anonymous.

 

The 14 Steps

1 We admitted that we were powerless over our homosexuality and that our emotional lives were unmanageable.


2 We came to believe the love of God, who forgave us and accepted us in spite of all that we are and have done.


3 We learned to see purpose in our suffering, that our failed lives were under God's control, who is able to bring good out of trouble.


4 We came to believe that God had already broken the power of homosexuality and that He could therefore restore our true personhood.


5 We came to perceive that we had accepted a lie about ourselves, an illusion that had trapped us in a false identity.


6 We learned to claim our true reality that as humankind, we are part of God's heterosexual creation and that God calls us to rediscover that identity in Him through Jesus Christ, as our faith perceives Him.


7 We resolved to entrust our lives to our loving God and to live by faith, praising Him for our new unseen identity, confident that it would become visible to us in God's good time.


8 As forgiven people free from condemnation, we made a searching and fearless moral inventory of ourselves, determined to root out fear, hidden hostility, and contempt for the world.


9 We admitted to God, to ourselves, and to another human being the exact nature of our wrongs and humbly asked God to remove our defects of character.


10We willingly made direct amends wherever wise and possible to all people we had harmed.


11We determined to live no longer in fear of the world, believing that God's victorious control turns all that is against us into our favor, bringing advantage out of sorrow and order from disaster.


12We determined to mature in our relationships with men and women, learning the meaning of a partnership of equals, seeking neither dominance over people nor servile dependency on them.


13We sought thorough confident praying, and the wisdom of Scripture for an ongoing growth in our relationship with God and a humble acceptance of His guidance for our lives.


14Having had a spiritual awakening, we tried to carry this message to homosexual people with a love that demands nothing and to practice these steps in all our lives' activities, as far as lies within us.


"While the Homosexuals Anonymous Fellowship was inspired by the Twelve Steps of Alcoholics Anonymous, they are not really an adaptation. Rather, they were created specifically for this Fellowship, and should not be construed otherwise. AA, which is a program concerned only with recovery from alcoholism, and is not in any way affiliated with this Fellowship."

 

What is the Purpose of Anonymity?


Because of the social stigma of homosexuality is often a factor in a person's decision whether or not to seek help, HA members recognize that a firm assurance of confidentiality is imperative if they are to succeed in attracting and helping other people wishing to find freedom from homosexuality. HA promises personal anonymity to all who attend its meetings. First names only are used. Personal information shared during any meeting is treated as confidential.

While the privacy of each member is highly regarded, some people experiencing freedom from homosexuality are eager to share the good news of their HA affiliation with family, friends, and other groups. Such disclosure is their own choice.



 

How is Homosexuals Anonymous Organized?

 

Local HA Chapters are part of a world-wide (with chapters currently in US, Canada and Australia) network of chapters that function under the guidance of Homosexuals Anonymous Fellowship Services (HAFS), the service organization based in Reading, Pennsylvania, USA. Local chapters are committed to the philosophy and guidelines of HAFS. H.A. chapters are developed as interested persons receive training and accreditation through HAFS sponsored seminars (HA Training) which are presented throughout the year.

Who Directs the Local HA Chapter?


Because HA is a self-help group, the members themselves, who have experienced significant growth, accept responsibility for different aspects of the chapter's organization and meetings. In addition, the responsibility of helping an HA member work through the 14 Steps, outside the framework of an H.A. meeting, is taken on by a step coach. The step coach is one who, having found ways of successfully applying the steps in his or her own life, now helps other members in the application process, through example, guidance, and prayer.


 

How Many People Belong to a Local HA Chapter?

 

There are no set membership limits. Each Chapter is free to set what works best for its members. However, H.A. places emphasis on its members taking responsibility for themselves and each other, so that a climate of support and intimacy may be built. This tends to limit the size of an H.A. chapter.

For an H.A. Chapter to be most effective, it should have about five members in regular attendance. Once a Chapter reaches eight active members or more, it may do well to consider breaking into more than one group.

 

Is there any Cost?
What is the Requirement for Membership?

 

There is no charge for membership in an H.A. chapter. However, because each chapter is financially independent, members are given the opportunity to make contributions at each meeting. These contributions are used to meet expenses incurred by the local group.

The only requirement for membership in an H.A. group is that you desire to be and remain free from homosexuality.


 

What is an HA Meeting Like?


Each meeting is structured around an hour-and-a-half time frame. The meeting opens with prayer, introductions of members by first names only, and a reading of the 14 Steps. Next come the major parts of the H.A. meeting and are as follows:

1) Histories

When new members are present, senior members tell of what led them to face their homosexuality, how God led them to H.A., and how they have grown in their understanding of God, of themselves and the world around them. New members are given the opportunity to share their histories, too, but only if they choose to do so.

2) Step Talk

The step guide for the evening prepares a short talk on one of the steps, giving insight into how the principles found in the step are being worked out in his or her own life, and how the step might apply to those in the group.

3) Discussion

Discussion sometimes focuses on the step, and at other times, on growth or struggle that a member may be experiencing. This is a time when members rally round to encourage each other. Meetings are characterized by friendliness and openness. There is no uncomfortable intensity and leadership is rotated so that there are no attempts to control. Many discover that an H.A. meeting provides the best Christian Fellowship they have experienced in years.

The meeting then closes with the sharing of needs and prayer.

Normally an HA meeting is limited to those who are seeking freedom from homosexuality. If a pastor, counselor, family member, etc., wishes to visit, they may do so provided the chapter discusses and decides (usually by vote) to open the meeting at least one meeting prior. A member who feels uncomfortable about an open meeting then has the option to be absent from that meeting, thus protecting anonymity.



 

If I Change From Homosexuality,
Will I Still Be Me?

 

Recovery from homosexuality is not so much a question of change as it is self-discovery. Homosexuality is the self-limiting of your personality. As you discover the Grace of God your true self-hood will be gradually released to enable you to become the person you always knew you could be, but feared you never would be.



 

Does HA Promote Homosexuality?

 

H.A. believes that there is no such thing as a homosexual, only men and women, created by God heterosexually, who because of the broken world we live in, are confused over their sexual identity. H.A. members do not introduce themselves by saying, "Hello, I'm George and I'm a homosexual." It is the paradox of Homosexuals Anonymous that people who became members discover in time that by God's grace they are not what they thought they were. The discovery of this grace ensures their restoration as dignified people. The H.A. Fellowship, rather than perpetuating the homosexual subculture, contributes to its decline.


 

How Can I Get Involved With HA?


 

If you want to be free of homosexuality you may begin attending an H.A. chapter. To find a list of local chapters and their phone numbers, clink on this link:

Local HA Chapters

Feel free to attend a chapter even if they are not presently at Step 1 in the 14-Step series. Meeting places and times are not announced publicly, however. Contact with your local H.A. chapter is made by telephone only.

To learn more about H.A., please explore our web site. To get in touch with the main H.A. Office, you may call the office directly Monday through Friday, 9:30am-4:30pm, Eastern US time.

Homosexuals Anonymous Fellowship Services
610-779-2500
There is an answering service at
1 (800) 288 - HAFS
Or, write us at


HAFS
P.O. Box 7881
Reading, PA 19603

 

Can Homosexuals Change?

For at least three decades, competent mental health professionals have suggested that the false notion that homosexuality is unchangeable is a major stumbling block to recovery.

If such doubts and fears have discouraged you in your search for freedom, please consider carefully the answer to these two questions:

1. "Why homosexuality?"

2. "Can I change?"

1. Why Homosexuality?

That is a question that has haunted many of us for years. Do we have homosexual feelings because of some abnormality in our genes or hormones, or is this a psychological matter?

A Psychological Problem?

Have our genes or hormones made us homosexual? Some of us have tried to maintain that, but there is little evidence to support such views. Dr. William Byne and Dr. Bruce Parsons of the Department of Psychiatry of the Columbia University College of Physicians and Surgeons state, "Recent studies postulate biologic factors as the primary basis for sexual orientation. However, there is no evidence at present to substantiate a biologic theory ... Critical review shows the evidence favoring a biologic theory to be lacking." [W. Byne M.D., Ph.D., B. Parsons, M.D., Ph.D. (1993), Human Sexual Orientation: The Biologic Theories Reappraised, Archives of General Psychiatry, p. 228] After reviewing the scientific studies on genetics and homosexuality, Masters and Johnson concluded: "The genetic theory of homosexuality has been generally discarded today." [W.H. Masters, V.E. Johnson, R.C. Kolodny (1985) Human Sexuality, 2nd Ed., p. 411-412, Little, Brown and Company: Boston]

Dr. C.A. Tripp summarizes the scientific experience regarding hormones and homosexuality as follows: "... A number of clinicians have seen fit over the years to run their own experiments by administering testosterone to both effeminate and ordinary homosexuals. The results have been consistent: When there were any behavioral changes at all, the subjects became more like themselves than ever. Their sex drives were usually increased and sometimes their effeminate mannerisms as well (when they had any), but there were never any directional changes in their sexual interests. From these experiments ... it has become abundantly clear that the sex hormones play a considerable role in powering human sexuality, but they do not control the direction of it." [C.A. Trip (1975) The Homosexual Matrix, p. 12, McGraw-Hill: New York]More recently some have argued that the problem lies in our prenatal hormones. They suggest that stress during pregnancy may alter the production of sex hormones in the mother at a crucial time, changing the level of hormones reaching the brain of the fetus, thus affecting sexual orientation. Here too, however, the available evidence is against the theory. Thus, researchers have found that "... in the majority of intersex patients with known hormone abnormalities, the sexual orientation follows the sex of the rearing. Consequently, we have to assume that prenatal hormone conditions by themselves do not rigidly determine sexual orientation." [A.A. Ehrhardt, H.F.L. Meyer-Bahlburg (1981) "Effects of Prenatal Hormones on Gender-Related Behavior," Science, p. 1316]

"The available data ... suggest that sexual orientation ... is base on social learning rather than hormones." [idem]

Dr. Judd Marmor reported on the work of Richard Green who, "... in a long series of studies on boys who showed effeminate behavior in childhood has demonstrated that although over half of these boys do become homosexual, a substantial minority of them do not. This indicates that gender-discordant children are not born homosexual, but rather are born with certain behavioral tendencies that, given contributory environmental factors, can predispose them towards homosexual behavior. Thus, a little boy whose behavior is effeminate, who does not like competitive athletics, and who prefers music and art, may be disappointing to a macho father, who tends to reject the boy and distance himself from him. The mother may respond by overprotecting her son. Such reactions disturb the boy's capacity to identify positively with his father and cause him to over identify with his mother. He may then ultimately develop homosexual erotic responses which are reinforced by later experiences." [J. Marmor, "Homosexuality: Nature versus Nurture," The Harvard Mental Health Letter, October 1985, p. 6]

Dr. John Money says, "With respect to orientation as homosexual or bisexual, there is no human evidence that prenatal hormonalization alone, independently of postnatal history, inexorably preordains either orientation. Rather, neonatal antecedents may facilitate a homosexual or bisexual orientation, provided the postnatal determinants in the social and communicational history are also facilitative." [J. Money (1987), "Sin, Sickness or Status? Homosexual Gender Identity and Psychoneuroendocrinology," American Psychologist, 42, No. 4 (April), p. 398]

Dr. Earl D. Wilson writes, "The disputed evidence for physical causes of male homosexuality is even weaker when it comes to lesbianism." [E.D. Wilson (1988) Counseling and Homosexuality, p. 76, Word Books: Waco, TX]

Facts like these led John DeCecco, editor of the Journal of Homosexuality and professor of psychology at San Francisco State University to say, "'The idea that people are born into one type of sexual behavior is foolish.' ... The move towards 'biologizing' homosexuality, he says, isn't the result of a scientific consensus, but a political consensus by those eager to label people gay or straight. Homosexuality, he says, is a 'behavior, not a condition,' and something that some people can and do change, just like they sometimes change tastes and other personality traits." [K. Painter, (March 1, 1989), A Biologic Theory for Sexual Preference, USA Today p. 4D]

Some will find these truths deeply disturbing. They rob us of some of our favorite excuses. We can no longer cry, "I can't help myself. I was born this way." These truths mean we have to take responsibility for our lives and our actions.

In doing this, however, these truths give us the key to freedom. They show us that we are not prisoners to cruel fate or faulty genes or hormones. There is hope for us! As Masters and Johnson put it, "When dealing with problems of sexual preference, it is vital that all health-care professionals bear in mind that the homosexual man or woman is basically a man or woman by genetic determination and is homosexually oriented by learned preference." [W.H. Masters, V.E. Johnson (1979) Homosexuality in Perspective, Little, Brown and Company: Boston] As Dr. Robert Kronemeyer has said, "From my 25 years' experience as a clinical psychologist, I firmly believe that homosexuality is a learned response to early painful experiences and that it can be unlearned. For those homosexuals who are unhappy with their life and find effective therapy, it is 'curable'." [R. Kronemeyer (1980) Overcoming Homosexuality, p. 7, Macmillan Publishing: New York]

What Went Wrong?

If our problem is not physical, what has gone wrong? A number of clues have been discovered.

In 1952, Dr. Irving Bieber began directing a research team in a nine year project studying male homosexuality. In all, 77 analysts, each a member of the Society of Medical Psychoanalysts, provided information on two patient samples consisting of 106 male homosexuals and a comparison group of 100 male heterosexuals. The result was "the most authoritative study of its kind." [A. Karlen (1971) Sexuality and Homosexuality: A New View, p. 573, Norton: New York] "No one has ever gathered so much finely discriminating detail on so many homosexuals, treated in depth by so many different doctors, and put through so many evaluations." [ibid. p. 572-573] Dr. Bieber wrote, "We have come to the conclusion that a constructive, supportive, warmly-related father precludes the possibility of a homosexual son...." [I. Beiber et al. (1962) Homosexuality: A Psychoanalytic Study, p. 303, Basic Books: New York]

Another psychiatrist, after many years of study and practice treating male homosexuals, noted, "Homosexuals consistently describe their fathers as a weak, shadowy and distant figure, or an angry, cold or brutalizing one." [C. Socarides (1976) "Homosexuality is not just an alternative life style," in Male and Female: Christian Approaches to Sexuality, R.T. Barnhouse, U.T. Holmes, eds., p. 145, Seabury Press: New York]

Dr. Elizabeth Moberly received her Ph.D. in psychology from Oxford University for her study of homosexuality. She found "that the homosexual -- whether man or woman -- has suffered from some deficit in the relationship with the parent of the same sex; or 'homosexual,' relationships." [E. Moberly (1983) Homosexuality: A New Christian Ethic, p. 2, AtticPress: Greenwood, SC]

Sharon Wegscheider, a certified alcoholism specialist, a family therapist, a member of Virginia Satir's AVANTA network, and president of ONSITE, provides on illustration of how this can happen when she describes the patterns which appear in the family of a chemically dependent person. She describes one of the characters in this family as "the Lost Child".

"He becomes a loner, looking after his needs himself and staying out of everyone's way ...." [S. Wegscheider, (1981) Another Chance: Hope and Health for the Alcoholic Family, p. 127, Science and Behavior Books: Palo Alto, CA] "Since he has never experienced warm human closeness, he is not prepared to make friends and engage in the social give and take of day-to-day school contacts. Yet in the midst of the crowd, withdrawing into himself leaves him feeling lonely, different, inept." [ibid, p. 129-130]

Each human being learns what it means to be a man or a woman from the adults in his or her childhood family. The same-sex parent provides a lasting model of what he is to be, and the other parent an object for his first important relationship with a person of the opposite sex. These are powerful teachings ... if they occur. The Lost Child, however, has never felt close to either of his parents; he has been too insulated from them to experience this kind of learning. Consequently, he reaches puberty with no clear sense of his own sexual identity or how to relate in a healthy way to those of the opposite sex. As adolescent sexuality increasingly colors all aspects of the daily world he occupies, he is engulfed by yet another kind of confusion. True to his pattern, he withdraws. He rarely dates and in his loneliness suffers growing doubts about his own sexual normalcy." [ibid, p. 130]

Thus Ms. Wegscheider lists among the common characteristics of the Lost Child, "Problems with sexual identity. Confused about sex roles and sometimes about sexual preference." [ibid, p. 136]

Alcoholism and drug addiction are only two of many family experiences which can lead to confusion in sexual identity and sexual preference. Many things less severe than chemical dependency can result in a deficit in our relationship with our same-sex parent. A sensitive child can be easily hurt. My father was a fine man who had no problem with alcohol or drugs. He did, however, want me, his first born, to be exactly like he was: strong, tough, a fighter, and a doctor. These were things God had not equipped me to be. I felt that I was not what my father wanted, and that he did not love me. So I put up a wall between us and missed the love I needed to develop a healthy gender identity. Had you asked about our relationship, I would have told you, "It's fine." But, if I was being complete, I would have added the revealing words, "but we're not close."

Dr. Moberly suggests other situations which may cause difficulty:

  1. The illness of the child, especially when this involves hospitalization, i.e., a large measure of separation from parental care.

  2. The illness of a parent. Even when this does not involve hospitalization, it may mark a period of inability to care for the young child, which may in turn affect the child's capacity for attaching to the parent.

  3. The birth of a sibling, especially when this involves the mother's absence due to hospitalization, or a conspicuous lessening in the amount of care she gives to the child she has already.

  4. The temporary, prolonged, or permanent absence of a parent.

  5. The separation or divorce of the parents.

  6. The death of a parent.

  7. Adoption, fostering or living in an orphanage.

  8. Being brought up in a succession of nurses, governesses, etc., i.e., a constantly changing succession of 'parental' figures.

[E. Moberly (1983) Psychogenesis: The Early Development of Gender Identity, p. 78, Routledge and Keegan Paul Ltd.: London]

While such experiences do not always result in homosexual feelings, they can, in a sensitive child, cause a hurt which leads to such problems.

As we consider these matters, it is important to remember that we are not looking for someone to blame. We are trying to understand the causes of our struggle and learn what we can do to resolve them. As long as we blame others for our problems, we will think like victims and remain forever bound by our problems.

When we accept responsibility, not for what happened in our childhood, but for how we respond to it now, we are in a position of strength. If our parents made mistakes with us (probably the same mistakes their parents made with them), we, who know our folly and our need of forgiveness, can learn to forgive them. As we clear away the debris of the past, we are free to choose to grow, to change, and to build a better life.

How then, did our struggle develop? To develop in a healthy way, a child needs love from its parent (or a consistent parent substitute) of the same sex. "Needs for love from, dependency on, and identification with, the parent of the same sex are met through the child's attachment to the parent. If, however, the attachment is disrupted, the needs that are normally met through the medium of such an attachment remain unmet." [E. Moberly, Homosexuality: A New Christian Ethic, op. cit., p. 5]

If these needs go unmet over a period of time, the child develops mixed and contradictory feelings towards its same-sex parent and tries, through a process of detachment, to survive without the love he or she deeply needs. The emotionally hurt youngster says of the same-sex parent, "I don't want to be like you." These feelings are transferred to all members of the same sex so that the person experiences, at the same time, a deep desire for intimacy with persons of the same sex and a strong desire to flee such intimacy. When puberty comes, these feelings get confused with erotic intimacy and a homosexual struggle begins.

Homosexual behavior is a mistaken attempt to meet a real need for non-sexual, same-sex, parent-child love. This need has been falsely understood as sexual, but homosexual behavior actually lessens the possibility of getting the real need met, because it involves guilt, deepens feelings of inferiority, and increases the ambivalence experienced in the same-sex relating. As Dr. Earl D. Wilson has noted, "The anonymous sex which many homosexuals experience seems only to strengthen the reparative urge and leave the person more desperate." [E.D. Wilson, op. cit., p. 59] All this reduces a person's ability to have those healthy relationships with members of the same sex which are vital to coming to freedom from homosexuality.

As Dr. Moberly put it: "Homosexuality is the kind of problem that needs to be solved through relationships. The solution of same-sex deficits is to be sought through the medium of ... non-sexual relationships with members of the same sex ... It is the provision of good same-sex relationships that helps meet unmet same-sex needs, heals defects in the relational capacity, and in this way forwards the healing process." [E. Moberly, Homosexuality: A New Christian Ethic, op. cit., p. 42] A good same-sex counselor may also be needed to help work through deep-seated hurts from the past.

2. Can I Change?

Someone may be saying, "I grant you that my problem is not physical, but psychological, but I still don't feel that there is any hope for me. Who says change is possible?

The Bible

The Bible says, "Do you not know the wicked will not inherit the kingdom of God? Do not be deceived: Neither the sexually immoral nor idolaters nor adulterers nor male prostitutes nor homosexual offenders nor thieves nor the greedy nor drunkards nor slanderers nor swindlers will inherit the kingdom of God. And that is what some of you were. But you were washed, you were sanctified, you were justified in the name of the Lord Jesus Christ and by the Spirit of our God." [I Corinthians 6:9-11 NIV, emphasis ours]

These words, which at first seem so threatening, are actually some of the sweetest words in the Bible to men and women with a homosexual struggle who understand them aright. True, they mention homosexuality among the sins of which, if not repented, bar people from the Kingdom of God. While God does not hold us accountable for the things that happened to us in childhood which brought on our struggle, He does hold us responsible, like everyone else, to face our problems, to reach out to Him and to His people for help, and to work though our difficulties by His grace.

We draw comfort from the fact that homosexuality is not listed first here as if it were the worst of sins, nor is it mentioned last as if it were unspeakable. It is listed in the middle of this catalogue along with the sins like greed and slander, no better, but no worse, than the other misdeeds.

And we find tremendous encouragement here. Those words, "and such were some of you," tell us that some early believers had struggled with homosexuality and had found forgiveness and freedom! Jesus Christ is the same yesterday, today and forever [Hebrews 13:8]. Therefore, the One who delivered them can also forgive and free us. We have solid hope drawn from God's own Word!

Science

Dr. Reuben Fine, Director of the New York Center for Psychoanalytic Training, stated, "I have recently had occasion to review the results of psychotherapy with homosexuals, and been surprised by the findings. It is paradoxical that even though the politically active homosexual group denies the possibility of change, all studies, from Schrenck-Notzing on, have found positive effects, virtually regardless of the kind of treatment used ...". [R. Fine (1987) Psychological Theory, Male and Female Homosexuality: Psychological Approaches, p. 84, Diamant L, ed., Hemisphere Publishing: Washington, D.C]

"... Whether with hypnosis ..., psychoanalysis of any variety, educative psychotherapy, behavior therapy, and/or simple educational procedures, a considerable percentage of overt homosexuals became heterosexual ... If the patients were motivated, whatever procedure is adopted, a large percentage will give up their homosexuality. In this connection, public education is of greatest importance. The misinformation spread by certain circles that 'that homosexuality is untreatable by psychotherapy' does incalculable harm to thousands of men and women." [ibid., p. 85-86]

Experience

Some years back, an American musician writing under the pseudonym of William Aaron described his homosexual life and his change to heterosexuality. He wrote, "For twenty years I was a homosexual: absolutely and nothing but .... I enjoyed sex with men, enjoyed it thoroughly and the more the better. The very thought of sex with a woman was abhorrent and frightening. Today, years away from all of that .... I am functioning heterosexually and enjoying it." [W. Aaron, (1972) Straight: A heterosexual Talks about His Homosexual Past, Garden City, p. 14f, NY: Doubleday & Company, Inc.,]. "I like being married: it gives me a feeling of stability and rightness that I never had before .... I like being a father; it is a rich emotional experience." [idem.]

He continues, "If you're homosexual and unhappy about it, believe me you don't have to stay that way. Cut your ties with the old life and get yourself reconditioned .... If you need help, get help. But don't sit around saying, 'Poor me, here I am stuck with being a faggot.' You don't need to be stuck with it, any more than you need to be stuck with alcoholism or pills, with acrophobia or xenophobia, or with any other unwelcome response or habit pattern. Discover your endless potential for change and development." [ibid., p. 211]

 

 

Comparison Homosexuals Anonymous / 12-step programs

Guys,

it has been asked in what way HA groups differ from 12-step groups.

I have some experience with 12-step groups over here in Germany (for example I was invited at a 4-day seminar organized by a couple who specializes in 12-step groups).

Here some points from my personal experience:


In 12-step groups people only share their personal experiences. The rest of the group only listens. Nobody is allowed to comment on somebody else's experiences (that would be considered "giving advice", which is inappropriate). They also don't have moderators or step coaches as we have them.

Now I don't want to put those programs down. They are certainly very helpful for certain problems.

But when it comes to same-sex attractions, I think the 14-step program of Homosexuals Anonymous and the structure of the groups (either online or the local chapters) are a lot more helpful - especially for men (remember Prov 27,17 which reminds us that you won't become a man just by yourself, but through the interaction with other men. Iron sharpens iron - so one man sharpens another). Also experienced and qualified moderators are most certainly needed, given the guidelines of HA that have to be taken care of and the many problems that our members have - along with the responsability this brings along.

Now this does not mean our moderators have to be doctors or something (again: we do NOT do psychotherapy in here!), but they should be mature Christians and stable in their own life. Yes, we all have same-sex attractions, but it wouldn't help our members if we face them with moderators that are still acting out themselves.

So to cut it short: our members are asked to support and love one another. And sometimes this also means a tough love. You should share your thoughts on what somebody else says or writes. Iron sharpens iron - so one man sharpens another. That could also mean that you point out something to a brother that he might not see himself. Not because you are so smart, but - being a man with same-sex attractions yourself - because we are a band of brothers. We try to prevent one another from falling, help one another up if somebody did and walk together on that road toward becoming a Christian man. The road toward freedom.

God bless,

Robert


Answer from a group member of HA Online:

The 12 step groups are problematic because of the theological open endedness of it. My wife is participating in Overeaters anonymous with great success physically, spiritually, and mentally. She is a committed christian. I've been in a courage group that used the 12 step new testament as a tool. And i've done some thinking about it. It seems to me that if the "higher power" is not Jesus you cannot possibly understand the Grace that is called for in the 1st step. So what are you left with? works? My wife listens to alot of telephone meetings and online recorded meetings--there is no local face to face meeting in our area. Some of the meetings are filled with "new age" fluff and some are run by Christians. So 12 step programs tend to be a mixture at best. But there is a universe of wisdom in the 12 stop programs. You are wrong about step coaches, Rob, they do have them and different groups have different rules about "advice" and different formats that allow moderators and the like.

An interesting note can be found at www.dickb.com about AA history. He makes it very plain that the roots of AA are evangelical, & regeneration based and he suggests that they were more successful. Recorded lectures from Dick B can be found at take12radio.com they are some of the best researched and most gospel oriented history lectures you are likely to hear.


My answer to that:

Thanks for the info.

As I said, those were my personal experiences. Yes, they did have some sort of "step coaches", but not as we have them (they seemed to have other functions, while being similar). The12-step program I witnessed was a Christian one, but I am sure there are similar.

Thanks for the input,

Rob

 

 

The Twelve Traditions of Homosexuals Anonymous

(used and adapted by permission of Alcoholics Anonymous World Services, Inc.)

1. Our common welfare should come first; personal recovery depends upon H.A. unity.
2. H.A. Fellowship recognizes the final authority of the loving Creator-God as He expresses Himself in Jesus Christ through the Word of God to our group consciousness. Our leaders are but trusted servants; they do not govern.
3. The only requirement of H.A. membership is a desire to be free and remain free from homosexuality.
4. Each chapter should be autonomous (electing officers from its own local membership) except in matters affecting other chapters or H.A. as a whole.
5. Each chapter has but one primary purpose – to carry its message to the person struggling with homosexuality.
6. An H.A. chapter ought never endorse, finance, or lend the H.A. name to any related facility or outside enterprise, lest problems of money, property, prestige, or religious controversy divert us from our primary purpose.
7. Every H.A. chapter ought to be fully self-supporting, declining outside contributions.
8. Homosexuals Anonymous should remain forever nonprofessional, but our service centers may employ special workers.
9. Homosexuals Anonymous, as such, ought never to be organized; but we may create service boards or committees directly responsible to those they serve.
10. Homosexuals Anonymous has no opinion on outside issues: hence the H.A. name ought never to be drawn into public controversy.
11. Our public relations policy is based on attraction rather than promotion; we need always maintain personal anonymity at the level of press, radio, and television.
12. Anonymity is the spiritual foundation of all our Traditions, ever reminding us to place principles before personalities.

Things I am Learning

1. Time heals all wounds - this is not true.  Emotional wounds that are not healed, fester.
 
2. I was somehow different from other males - this is not true.  Every man who ever was questions his manhood, questions how "good" of a man he is.
 
3. The definition of Manhood can be found in society - this is not true.  The only definition of manhood that we should concern ourselves with is the definition set forth by God in the Bible in the example of Jesus Christ.
 
4. I am not worth the effort of healing - this is not true.  Each and every one of us is WORTH it.  Each and every one of us has intrinsic value as a human being, each and every one of us has a God given destiny to fulfill, and GOD thinks we are worth it!!
 
5. Focusing exclusively on a relationship with God will heal me - this is not entirely true.  Of course, a deep, intimate relationship with God is important, but there are many blockages and obstacles that we have put in place between us and God, and without working through the underlying emotional wounds, we limit our ability to relate to God.  The inverse is actually true, by working on my healing, I can gain a better, more intimate relationship with God.
 
6.  Healing is passive - this is a LIE.  Healing is an ACTIVE process.  I have struggled with various addictions throughout my life (and still do), addictions to cigarettes, caffeine, marijuana.   The process of healing and recovering is an ACTIVE process that occurs in the mind.  I must continually CHOOSE healing, I must continually form and focus my thoughts toward the objective of obtaining wholeness in my struggle.  If I do not make an active choice, my personality, BY DEFAULT, operates in  broken mode.
 
 
Each day, I continue to learn new things about my struggle, about my self.  Often times, I feel very bad, angry, sad, hurt.  These emotions are quite uncomfortable and I wish I could just shunt time off to the non-feeling part of me.  But these hurts, these feelings represent the underlying emotional wounds that MUST be healed.  I think of it like a splinter.  Of course, a splinter hurts, and will cause problems if not removed.  However, the process of removing the splinter is sometimes, often, more painful that the splinter itself.  Without experiencing the intense pain of removing the splinter, the wound will fester until the day we die. 
 
 
Finally, a word of encouragement.  In January and February of this year, I was hopelessly submerged in acting out and hooking up.  I did not want to stop, I wanted to continue to find ways to deaden the pain and fill the void.  I believe that God allowed me to immerse myself in sin so that I would fully understand my unregenerate condition, so that I would come to a point of complete hopelessness, in order to fully realize that my healing must be MY choice and itrmust be an ACTIVE choice.  God will work with me, and God will  multiple my efforts ten fold or a hundred fold.   
 
God wants you to be whole.  God wants you to understand that is our deep, innate, God given desires that are at the root of our dysfunction.  God wants you to understand that these desires are GOOD, but our environment and society encourage us to pervert these desires and act out of our brokenness.
 
In Christ,
Paul

(HA Online member. Used with permission)

Local Chapter Officers

The local H.A. chapters are autonomous and all officers are chosen from the membership of the local chapter. Offices are open to all members. All persons holding offices may be re-elected to positions already held or elected to new offices. However rotation of the officers allows for growth in both individual members as well as the group as a whole. Should vacancies occur, the open position should be filled as soon as possible by election at the next scheduled business meeting or, if needed, at a special business meeting called for this purpose. Until the vacant office is filled permanently, a temporary replacement may be chosen by consensus of the other officers. The offices to be filled are:


Coordinator


Elected by the group at a business meeting for a quarter or a 14-week period. Moderates the weekly meetings, working through the format outline, oversees the quarter’s H.A. meeting’s, ensures presence of step guide, chairs the business meeting, unlocks building, makes sure the person appointed for refreshments is at hand, etc. Several coordinators (co-coordinators) may be elected which would allow for alternating coordinators from week to week—example: two coordinators could alternate responsibilities every other week.


Step Guide


Elected by the group at a business meeting or chosen by the coordinator or coordinating board (consisting of the coordinator and two other elected officers) to serve weekly, monthly, quarterly, or for a 14-week period. Guides the discussion of the step material using the H.A. workbook Lord, Set Me Free; Experience, Strength and Hope; or the H.A. step tapes. As the group develops in maturity, the step guide may be asked to speak on the step, explaining how he or she has used the step, what it means for him or her, rather than lecturing on it.


Treasurer


Elected by the group at a business meeting, preferably for one year. Opens a bank account, counts and records money in account book in presence of an assistant treasurer, deposits money, etc. The treasurer updates the group regarding the balance on a monthly basis. The treasurer is responsible for sending contributions to H.A. Fellowship Services.


Assistant Treasurer


Elected by the group in a business meeting, preferably for one year. Assists treasurer in duties and fills in when treasurer is not present (collecting money, etc.). The bank account is arranged so that the money may be withdrawn only with two signatures, those of the treasurer and assistant treasurer.

(Taken from "HOMOSEXUALS ANONYMOUS POLICY AND ADVISORY MANUAL")

Leadership Qualities

In order for the local H.A. chapter to maintain a healthy atmosphere which will allow for the mature growth of its individual members, the leadership should strive to maintain certain qualities in themselves. These qualities are:


Spirituality:
Finding fellowship with God a pleasure.


Sobriety:
Striving for ever-increasing purity of life.


Sensitivity:
Sensing people’s needs and being patient with their slowness of growth.


Strength:
Being honest enough to confront and challenge without desiring to control.


Gentleness:
Not needing to control others because of a fear that their failure will be construed of the leader’s failure—“If the group falls apart, it’s my fault.” The leader should not become nervously controlling when situations arise that may seem threatening. The leader does not make statements like, “We cannot allow this to happen” or “You’d better decide whether you really want to be in this group”. Rather he lays the situation before the group and says, “How do you think we should handle this?” or “Could we discuss the possible approach that we, as a group, want to take in this situation?”.


Love:
Being able to consider the other person’s best interest.


Vulnerability:
Being open enough to let others know that the leader is imperfect and still growing. This ability to be vulnerable comes from the understanding that we are righteous only in the righteousness of Christ. In ourselves we are imperfect and incomplete.

(Taken from the "HOMOSEXUALS ANONYMOUS POLICY AND ADVISORY MANUAL")

 

Unser Programm

Frage: Ihr verwendet ein 14-Schritte Programm. Ist das nicht dasselbe wie diese 12-Schritte-Programme zur Behandlung von Suchtproblemen? Damit wird doch nur eine Verhaltensänderung erreicht!


Antwort: Ein Teil unserer Schritte wurde tatsächlich von den klassischen 12-Schritte Programmen übernommen und speziell für die Bedürfnisse von Menschen mit gleichgeschlechtlichen Neigungen angepasst, weil sie für hilfesuchende Menschen sehr hilfreich sein können. Zumal auch Suchtproblematiken und damit verbundene zu erzielende Verhaltensänderungen hier eine große Rolle spielen.


Sehen wir uns unsere 14 Schritte doch nochmal an:




1. We admitted that we were powerless over our homosexuality and that our emotional lives were unmanageable. (Wir haben uns eingestanden, dass wir unserer Homosexualität machtlos gegenüber stehen und dass wir unser Gefühlsleben nicht mehr im Griff haben).

 

2. We came to believe the love of God, who forgave us and accepted us in spite of all that we are and have done. (Wir haben begonnen, an die Liebe Gottes zu glauben, der uns vergeben und angenommen hat trotz allem, was wir sind und getan haben).

3. We learned to see purpose in our suffering, that our failed lives were under God's control, who is able to bring good out of trouble. (Wir haben gelernt, einen Sinn in unserem Leiden zu sehen. Wir haben ebenso gelernt, dass unsere gefallenen Leben unter Gottes Kontrolle sind, der Gutes aus all dem Schlechten hervorbringen kann).

4. We came to believe that God had already broken the power of homosexuality and that He could therefore restore our true personhood. (Wir haben begonnen, daran zu glauben, dass Gott die Macht der Homosexualität schon gebrochen hat und deshalb unsere wahre Persönlichkeit wiederherstellen konnte).

5. We came to perceive that we had accepted a lie about ourselves, an illusion that had trapped us in a false identity. (Uns ist klar geworden, dass wir an eine Lüge über uns selbst geglaubt haben, eine Illusion, die uns in eine falsche Identität gelockt hat).

6. We learned to claim our true reality that as humankind, we are part of God's heterosexual creation and that God calls us to rediscover that identity in Him through Jesus Christ, as our faith perceives Him. (Wir haben gelernt, unsere wahre Realität zu beanspruchen. Als Menschen sind wir nämlich Teil von Gottes heterosexueller Schöpfung und Gott will, dass wir diese Identität in Ihm durch Jesus Christus wieder entdecken - so wie Ihn unser Glaube wahrnimmt).

7. We resolved to entrust our lives to our loving God and to live by faith, praising Him for our new unseen identity, confident that it would become visible to us in God's good time. (Wir haben uns entschlossen, unsere Leben unseren liebenden Gott anzuvertrauen und im Glauben zu leben, indem wir ihn für unsere neue unsichtbare Identität preisen und darauf vertrauen, dass diese Identität für uns sichtbar wird, sobald Gott dies will).

8. As forgiven people free from condemnation, we made a searching and fearless moral inventory of ourselves, determined to root out fear, hidden hostility, and contempt for the world. (Als Menschen, denen vergeben wurde und die frei von Verurteilung sind, haben wir eine furchtlose moralische Bestandsaufnahme von uns selbst gemacht und sind entschlossen, Furcht, versteckte Feindseligkeit und Verachtung für die Welt auszumerzen).

9. We admitted to God, to ourselves, and to another human being the exact nature of our wrongs and humbly asked God to remove our defects of character. (Wir haben vor Gott, vor uns selbst und vor einem anderen Menschen all unsere Fehler schonungslos eingestanden und Gott demütig gebeten, die negativen Aspekte unseres Charakters zu entfernen).

10. We willingly made direct amends wherever wise and possible to all people we had harmed. (Wir haben versucht, soweit als möglich jeglichen Schaden, den wir anderen zugefügt haben, wieder gut zu machen).

11. We determined to live no longer in fear of the world, believing that God's victorious control turns all that is against us into our favor, bringing advantage out of sorrow and order from disaster. (Wir haben uns entschlossen, nicht mehr länger in Furcht vor der Welt zu leben, da wir glauben, dass Gottes siegreiche Kontrolle alles, was gegen uns steht, zu unseren Gunsten wendet und etwas Gutes aus den Sorgen hervorbringt sowie Ordnung aus dem Chaos).

12. We determined to mature in our relationships with men and women, learning the meaning of a partnership of equals, seeking neither dominance over people nor servile dependency on them. (Wir sind entschlossen, in unseren Beziehungen zu Männern und Frauen zu reifen und die Bedeutung einer Partnerschaft von gleichberechtigten Partnern zu lernen, wobei wir weder Dominanz über Menschen noch Abhängigkeit von ihnen suchen),

13. We sought through confident praying, and the wisdom of Scripture for an ongoing growth in our relationship with God and a humble acceptance of His guidance for our lives. (Wir haben durch vertrauensvolles Beten und die Weisheit der Bibel ein andauerndes Wachsen unserer Beziehung zu Gott gesucht, sowie ein demütiges Annehmen Seiner Führung für unser Leben).

14. Having had a spiritual awakening, we tried to carry this message to homosexual people with a love that demands nothing and to practice these steps in all our lives' activities, as far as lies within us. (Nachdem wir ein spirituelles Erwachen erleben durften, versuchen wir nun, diese Botschaft an andere Menschen mit gleichgeschlechtlichen Neigungen heranzutragen - mit einer Liebe, die nichts verlangt und nichts fordert. Wir werden diese Schritte in allen Bereichen unseres Lebens praktizieren, so weit uns dies möglich ist).





Selbst ohne hier die Schritte näher zu erläutern, dürft schon anhand der Titel für jeden nachvollziehbar sein, dass es hier um weit mehr als nur um Verhaltensänderungen geht.

Selbst konventionelle 12-Schritte Programme konzentrieren sich nicht alleine auf das Verhalten. Ohne eine grundlegende Änderung der inneren Einstellung wäre wohl auch ein Suchtproblem nicht zu meistern. Selbst wenn diese innere Änderung noch nicht da ist, ist es aber unerlässlich, das Verhalten zu ändern!

Inzwischen gibt es auch 12-Schritte Programme auf christlicher Basis, die den Rahmen noch erheblich erweitern. Hier kann schon längst nicht mehr nur von reinen Verhaltensänderungen gesprochen werden.

Homosexuals Anonymous mit seinen 14 Schritten geht noch erheblich weiter. Bei uns steht Gott im Mittelpunkt.

Douglas McIntyre, Mitgründer von HA, hat in einem Vortrag auf der internationalen Konferenz von HA im September 2006 gemeint: "Der Grund, warum viele nicht geheilt werden, ist, weil sie nicht wirklich glauben, dass es geschehen kann!" Weiterhin meinte er, als sie damals (zeitgleich mit Exodus vor ca. 30 Jahren!) angefangen haben, hatten sie keine der vielen schlauen psychologischen Bücher (so nützlich sie auch sein mögen). Alles, was sie hatten, war die Bibel. Und das ist auch alles, was Doug bis heute hat. Wer ihn getroffen hat, kann bezeugen, was für eine unglaubliche Ausstrahlung von ihm ausgeht und welch starken Glauben er vermittelt. Er ist inzwischen Familienvater mit erwachsenen Kindern!

Kürzlich meinte jemand, man dürfe den Menschen nicht erzählen, ihr Glaube könne sie heilen. Damit würde man sie nur frustrieren. Sowas machen nur Charismatiker. Vielmehr solle man wohl all den psychologischen Konzepten hinterherlaufen, die es momentan gibt.

Dazu folgendes: es ist ein Armutszeugnis, eine Bankrotterklärung dem christlichen Glauben gegenüber, so etwas auch nur zu denken. (Nützliche Bibelstellen hierzu gibt es viele. Wie wäre es mit Apostelgeschichte Kapitel drei und vier?).

Wir achten und respektieren all diejenigen, die mit besten Absichten - und vielen psychologischen Konzepten Menschen mit ungewollten gleichgeschlechtlichen Neigungen helfen möchten. Sicherlich ist vieles davon hilfreich und die Arbeit, die diese Menschen leisten, außerordentlich.

Wir möchten aber davor warnen, alleine diesem Bereich zu vertrauen und sich von der Macht des Glaubens zu verabschieden. Im allgemeinen ist niemand dieser - wenn auch gutmeinenden - Helfer Psychiater, Psychologe oder Psychotherapeut, die tatsächlichen wissenschaftlichen Fachkenntnisse sind also sehr begrenzt. Zum anderen betrachtet moderne Wissenschaft Homosexualität weder als Krankheit noch als psychische Störung, daher auch nicht als behandlungsbedürftig. Homosexualität wird als gleichwertige Form sexuellen Begehrens gesehen.

Selbst wenn man aber Psychologe o.ä. wäre - Wissenschaft kann sich ändern. Der Glaube und die Bibel, auf der er sich gründet, bleibt felsenfest.

Soll man sich also zurück lehnen und nichts tun, da Gott uns ja "heilt" ("heilt" im christlichen Sinne, nicht im psychotherapeutischen)?

Nein. Gott hat von uns immer verlangt, dass wir uns aktiv für Ihn entscheiden. Dass wir unseren Teil tun und täglich unser Kreuz auf uns nehmen und Ihm nachfolgen - egal, wie schwer und lange es dauern wird. Natürlich und selbstverständlich kann Er uns auch "auf einen Schlag" heilen - und hat dies auch schon bei Menschen getan. Aber Er alleine entscheidet, ob wir durch einen Lernprozess gehen sollen und Ihm so immer wieder bezeugen können, dass wir in jeder Situation zu Ihm halten, oder ob wir alleine durch die Kraft unseres Glaubens in kürzester Zeit frei sind.

Psychologie und das Verstehen von Hintergründen, die zur Entstehung unserer gleichgeschlechtlichen Neigungen beigetragen haben, ist sicherlich wichtig - und mit ihr die Arbeit, die sich darauf gründet.

Psychologie alleine liefert aber weder die Motivation noch den Weg, um Freiheit ("Freiheit" wiederum im christlichen Sinn) zu erlangen. Psychologie kann sich ändern - der Glaube nicht. Was weltliche Wissenschaft betrifft, kann man sich immer irren. Die Bibel bleibt.

Letztendlich ist es für mich als Christ zwar interessant, zu erfahren, welche Faktoren zu meiner Neigung beigetragen haben, letztlich aber zweitrangig. Gott hat mich mehrfach in ungewöhnlich scharfer Form davor gewarnt, dieser Neigung nachzugeben - gleich welche Ursache sie hat. Und dies hat Er nicht getan, weil Er mich gerne herum kommandiert, sondern weil Er mich liebt und nicht will, dass mir etwas geschieht. Er weiß um die Konsequenzen meines Tuns, sollte ich mich von Ihm abwenden.


Was die Findung unserer wahren Identität betrifft, so ist dies bei HA ein zentraler Punkt. Unter Identität verstehen wir aber nicht dasselbe wie weltliche Wissenschaft. Unsere wahre Identität finden wir auch nicht in Büchern von Nicolosi & Co - so wichtig sie auch sein mögen. Unsere wahre Identität finden wir alleine in dem, als dessen Ebenbild wir geschaffen wurden: in Gott. Wenn wir zu Ihm aufschauen, sehen wir unser wahres Ich.


In HA verwenden wir viele Hilfsmittel, die uns und anderen geholfen haben, unsere Situation zu verstehen. Seien es nun hilfreiche Bücher, die wir zusammen lesen und besprechen, Filme, die wir anschauen oder gemeinsame Aktivitäten.

Wichtig ist für uns, nicht nur vor dem Bösen wegzulaufen (Vermeidungsstrategien und Ablenkungstechniken, auch wenn uns diese unterstützen, uns nicht in Gefahr zu begeben), sondern auch zum Guten hin zu laufen (unsere wahre Identität in Jesus Christus zu finden, wenn möglich zerbrochene Beziehungen zu Freunden und Verwandten wieder her zu stellen, sinnvolle Aktivitäten zu finden. sich sozial und in der Gemeinde zu engagieren, tägliches Gebet und Bibelstudium sowie gesunde gleichgeschlechtliche Beziehungen um das hinter Homosexualität stehende Bedürfnis auf gesunde art und Weise zu befriedigen - und natürlich der Aufbau unserer Männlichkeit/Weiblichkeit). Robert bietet z.B. auch das "Men's Fraternity"-Programm an (siehe www.freewebs.com/mensfraternity).

Hier etwa unser Rechenschaftsbericht. Dieser war ursprünglich nicht Teil von HA, wurde aber zuerst im Online-Programm, dann auch in lokalen Gruppen eingeführt. Zum einen folgt er dem biblischen Prinzip, sich gegenseitig Verfehlungen einzugestehen (nur Sünde sucht die Verborgenheit! Bekennen ist der erste Schritt zur Vergebung!), zum anderen hilft uns dieser Bericht, unsere Aufmerksamkeit auf zentrale Punkte zu lenken.

Im Gegensatz zu traditionellen 12-Schritte Programmen ist hierbei die Mitwirkung der Brüder und Schwestern erwünscht, die sich gegenseitig unterstützen und motivieren sollen. Es ist ausdrücklich gewünscht, sich gegenseitig vorzuschlagen, was man tun könnte, um es nächste Woche besser zu machen. Nicht, weil man gerne weise Ratschläge erteilt und sich besser fühlt als der Andere. Wir sitzen alle im selben Boot und sind uns dessen sehr wohl bewusst. Wir wollen uns gegenseitig helfen, und der Austausch von Tips und Erfahrungen hat sich als extrem hilfreich und auch von allen Seiten erwünscht gezeigt.


(Wenn ihr nach oben scrollt, könnt ihr den Rechenschaftsbericht nochmals lesen)



 
Weitere Charakteristika von HA ist etwa die Dauer des durchschnittlichen Aufenthalts eines
Mitglieds in den Gruppen (prinzipiell kann jeder bleiben, so lange er will - die meisten
bleiben auch längee Zeit, oft sogar über mehrere Jahre).

Ebenso charakteristisch ist die enge Verbindung zwischen den Mitgliedern, die sich im Laufe
der Zeit aufbaut sowie der durchschnittlich hohe Informationsstand sowie die Motivation
unserer Leiter.

Wir sehen uns als eine Familie - und behandeln uns auch so.

Dies führt zu einem weiteren Punkt von HA: die nicht-hierarchische Struktur und die
familiäre Beziehung - auch auf internationaler Basis.

Zentraler Inhalt von HA ist und bleibt aber unser christlicher Glaube. Wissenschaft kann
und wird sich ändern - die Wahrheit der Bibel bleibt bestehen bis ans Ende aller Tage.

Wir haben erkannt, dass wir dort gescheitert sind, wo wir versucht haben, mit eigener
"Weisheit" Erfolg zu haben und das Ganze unter Kontrolle zu bringen. Jetzt, wo wir uns
voll und ganz Gott anvertraut haben, fühlen wir uns endlich sicher und geborgen.


Abschließend dürfen wir sagen, dass wir uns solidarisch mit allen Einrichtungen sehen, die
Menschen mit ungewollten gleichgeschlechtlichen Neigungen helfen wollen. Auch wenn unsere
zutiefst christliche Vorgehensweise sich vielleicht von anderen Einrichtungen unterscheidet,
sehen wir uns nicht als Konkurrenz oder gar als "besser" als andere, sondern als deren
Ergänzung.


Wir bieten jedem, der dies möchte, unsere helfende Hand an und gehen mit ihm oder ihr den
Weg hin zu Jesus!

How to Start an H.A. Chapter

Edward Madara, executive director of the New Jersey Self-Help Clearinghouse has said, “A self-help group can be started by anyone with a bit of courage, a sense of commitment, and a good dose of caring.” [Joal Fischer, Power Tools: Ways To Build a Self-Help Group, (Charlotte, NC: SupportWorks, 1992), p. 8] Here are 14 steps to show you how to start an H.A. Chapter. Don’t try to take them all at once. One step at a time! You’ll be amazed how easy it can be.


1. GATHER BASIC INFORMATION: Order the H.A. video, the H.A. workbook, Lord, Set Me Free; Experience, Strength and Hope, a Policy and Advisory Manual; and Power Tools: Ways To Build a Self-Help Group. These will give you a good introduction to the philosophy and principles of H.A. WE STRONGLY URGE you to attend the first possible H.A. Training seminar and to encourage those in your chapter who have leadership potential to attend with you. It will make a tremendous difference in your chapter.

2. SEEK GOD’S GUIDANCE: Begin to seriously ask God, “Lord, what wilt thou have me to do?” (Acts 9:6b). If you come to believe God would have you start an H.A. chapter, commit yourself to faithfully fulfill this calling. Scripture says, “Therefore, my beloved brethren, be ye steadfast, unmovable, always abounding in the work of the Lord, forasmuch as ye know that your labor is not in vain in the Lord” (I Corinthians 15:58). You will face times of discouragement, so promise God that by His grace nothing will stop you till the job is done! “…The Lord is faithful, who shall stablish you… But ye, brethren, be not weary in well doing” (II Thessalonians 3:3,13).


3. BUILD A SUPPORT SYSTEM: Newcomers in an H.A. chapter are usually unable to give others support. They’re looking for help. What about your needs? Seek out a pastor, counselor, or friends with whom you can share your struggles. Tell them your plans and ask if they will be available to you. Assure them you are not expecting them to solve your problems but are simply looking for good friends who can listen, give practical feedback, and pray. Remember, “Except the Lord build the house, they labor in vain that build it” (Psalm 127:1). Meet with your support people regularly, share your problems honestly (remembering to protect others’ anonymity), and pray much. When the people in your chapter begin to grow, they will be there for you also.


4. ESTABLISH LINES OF COMMUNICATION: Rent a post office box under the name “H.A. Fellowship” at a post office convenient to your work or home where you can send chapter materials and people can contact you by mail. Decide whether you want to put an unlisted phone in your own name (which is less expensive) or a listed phone with no address given under the name Homosexuals Anonymous (which is more expensive but makes it easy for people seeking help to find you and allows you to be listed in the “Guide To Human Services” section of the phone book, usually through the United Way). Have the phone line installed. Purchase an inexpensive answering machine or use voice mail through the phone company for this line so that people who call when you are not there can leave a message for you, if they wish. A suggested message might be: “Thank you for calling Homosexuals Anonymous, a fellowship of men and women seeking freedom from homosexuality. We cannot answer the phone now, but please leave your first name and telephone number at the sound of the tone and we will call back to you. We will be discreet and your confidentiality will be respected. If you cannot leave your name and number, someone will be here to speak to you in person on (day) between (time) and (time). God bless you in your struggles.” Give H.A.F.S. your chapter’s mailing address. Be sure H.A.F.S. has your personal address and phone number in case we need to contact you directly.


5. FIND A MEETING PLACE: Your pastor or someone in your support system may be able to contact local churches, hospitals, YMCA’s, and YWCA’s as possibilities. Where do Alcoholics Anonymous, Narcotics Anonymous, Sexaholics Anonymous, Sex and Love Addicts Anonymous, Sex Addicts Anonymous, Al-Anon, or Adult Children of Alcoholics groups meet in your area? These places may be open to you also. When you have found a suitable place, determine the rent (if any) and set a time and date for your first meeting.


6. ORDER GROUP MATERIALS


7. REQUEST H.A. NEWSLETTER COVERAGE: Ask H.A.F.S. to run a story in the H.A. News to inform people in your area that a chapter is starting and urge them to contact you if they need help or can give assistance. We will also ask our readers from other areas to contact people they think might be interested and urge them to contact you.


8. ADVERTISE: While we believe in attraction rather than promotion, we also know we will not be able to attract people to a program of which they’ve never heard. We must get the word out in every proper way possible that there is hope and help in the struggle against homosexuality. Some forms of advertising cost little or nothing. You will find sample news releases for your local paper and sample public service announcements for radio and television in the section of this manual entitled “Advertising and the local H.A. Chapter”. Your newspaper may also list support group meetings periodically. Ask to be included. Bulletin boards in churches, Christian bookstores, and colleges and universities are good places to use posters someone with artistic gifts in your group can make. If you have the funds, advertise in the classified section of the newspaper with something like this: “HELP FOR HOMOSEXUALS: The (name) Chapter of Homosexuals Anonymous, a support group for those who wish to find freedom from homosexuality, holds weekly meetings in the (city name) area. Call (phone number).” To be effective, these ads should run on a continuous basis (daily, if a daily paper).


9. HOLD YOUR FIRST MEETING: Follow the format explained in the section of this manual entitled “H.A. Meeting Format”. Give an H.A. brochure and explain the New Members Card to all who attend. Urge all who come to commit themselves to attend for six weeks without missing so they can get to know the program and people and make an intelligent decision as to whether or not the group might be helpful for them. Show them your copies of the materials they can receive from us as well as the books they can purchase. Again, urge them to get the newsletter and to order their own workbook, copy of Experience, Strength and Hope, and the HA daily devotional. Don’t expect everyone to keep coming. Every anonymous group of whatever kind has its drop outs. Don’t hold yourself responsible for anyone else’s decision. If you feel discouraged should only a few come, remember God’s rebuke to Israel for despising “the day of small things” (Zechariah 4:10). If no one else comes at first, hold the meeting every week even if you have to work the steps alone! “And let us not be weary in well doing; for in due season we shall reap, if we faint not” (Galatians 6:9. Be patient! You can expect more people and better meetings as the group matures.


10. SEEK REFERRALS: Contact people who might know men and women who want help. Send letters (samples are given in this manual in the section entitled “Advertising and the Local H.A. Chapter”) to local churches, counseling ministries, doctors, psychologists, psychiatrists, social service agencies, and hospitals. Include an H.A. brochure. Do not try to contact everyone in one week by yourself. Concentrate on Christian organizations first, then move to secular ones. Get other members to help. Send out five or ten letters per person each week using the phone book and other lists available to you. Contact the United Way’s Information and Referral Service and ask to be registered with them. Also contact the national Self-Help Clearing House, CUNY, 33 West 42nd Street, New York, New York 10036, telephone (212) 642-2944 and the American Self-Help Clearing House, St. Clares-Riverside Medical Center, Denville, NJ 07834, telephone (201) 625-7101, to get the address of any local self-help organizations with which you should register for referrals [please check if the addresses and phone numbers are still up-to-date].


11. ORGANIZE THE CHAPTER’S FINANCES: Money can be a source of dissension so great care and wisdom should be exercised in this area. Keep good records of your expenses and the amount collected at the H.A. meetings. As soon as possible, elect a treasurer and assistant treasurer (see the section in this manual entitled “Local Chapter Officers”) and have them set up a bank account for the chapter (see the section in the manual entitled “Opening an H.A. Bank Account”). Some chapters use the name “He’s Alive Fellowship” to protect their anonymity. Explain the importance of supporting H.A.F.S. and begin doing so regularly as soon as possible (see the section in this manual entitled “The Local H.A. Chapter and H.A. Fellowship services”).


12. HELP CHAPTER MEMBERS UNDERSTAND THEIR PROGRAM: Order enough Policy and Advisory Manuals so that each regular attender may get one. Have an extra meeting to which all members are invited to read and discuss the manual. Evaluate your group in the light of your study. What changes might you want to consider? How can you better get the word out that there is hope and help for the homosexual? What can be done to promote healthy friendships within your chapter? Are people who miss a meeting being contacted and patiently encouraged to return? Are people seeking step coaching and are qualified people willing to serve in that capacity? Are new members made to feel a part of the chapter by being offered responsibilities they can manage (set up refreshments, clean up, etc.)? Selfishness is part of our sickness. If we want our members to recover, they must learn to reach out to others. Without new information and responsibilities, old members grow restless. Be sure to provide challenges for old timers and help for new comers. Consider groups for Bible study, growth classes, and social activities as outlined in the section of this manual entitled “Auxiliary Group Support”.


13. ELECT OFFICERS: When group members begin to show that they are working the steps, making progress in recovery, maturing in their lives, and reaching out to others, elect officers (see the section in this manual entitled “Local Chapter Officers” and “Leadership Qualities”).


14. START NEW CHAPTERS: Experts suggest that “fewer than four members restrict active, variegated group development and interaction; more than eight members create overcrowding on the one hand and too diffuse an emotional atmosphere on the other.” [Toby B. Bieber, “Group Therapy with Homosexuals”, Comprehensive Group Therapy edited by Harold I. Kaplan and Benjamin J. Saddock, (Baltimore: The Williams and Watkins Company, 1971), p- 524]. To maintain a vibrant work, plan for the day when your chapter becomes two groups. Urge your members to attend an H.A. Recovery Seminar and an H.A. Training Seminar to develop the leadership both groups will need. Then people who need extra support will have two meetings they can attend. The fact that each group meets at different times makes it possible for some to attend who could not do so at the time the original meeting was held. H.A. multiplies by dividing and thus can offer more help to more people!
Please remember, you are not alone in this undertaking unless you choose to be! H.A.F.S. is here to help you at every step of the way. We care about you personally and want to help you when you face difficulties. We are not sinless and we do not expect you to be perfect. Keep open and honest. Stay in close touch with us. Let us know how you are doing as well as how the group is progressing. Share questions, problems, ideas, and testimonies. Let us help each other to find ever increasing freedom in Christ!

(From the "Homosexuals Anonymous Policy and Advisory Manual")

As For Me And My House



All throughout scripture we are admonished to discipline ourselves to live a godly life, not a worldly life. Yes, we live in the world, but the ways of the world, (the ways of the ungodly), are not the ways of God. They lead to destruction. ""For the wages (ways of the ungodly) of sin is death, but the (ways of God, the way of ) free gift of God is eternal life in Christ Jesus our Lord." Rom. 6:23
The author of the Proverbs reminds us that, " There is a way which seems right to a man, But it’s end is the way of death." Prov. 14:12 In fact the proverbs are replete with comparisons of the ways of the righteous and the ways of the unrighteous. They are replete with the was of good and evil.
We would do well to meditate upon the scriptures. To meditate on the scriptures is to stop. To consider, think, weigh in the balance of it’s words, upon the Word of God.
To meditate upon scripture is not trhe same as the pagans who meditate in a trance like state, in an attempt to reach a higher state of consciousness, which in fact are doing nothing more than making contact with the Demon Spirits, whom fill their minds with the contrary ways of God. Thus these adherents to occultic or not, meditations, do the will of Satan rather than the will of God.
In contrast to those who meditate on scripture, on the ways of God, they do not go into a trance like state, filling their minds with ungodly thoughts, but instead consider and fill their minds with the ways and Word of God. Those who do so consider and balance the rewards of following and obeying God, rather than following and obeying Satan. The reward of those who meditate on God and His ways, is eternal life with Jesus Christ. On the contrary, the gift, the reward for those whom follow after the ways of Satan is darkness, separated eternally from God, with Satan, with no chance of ever crossing over the chasm from darkness to light.
Jesus spoke more on hell in our scriptures than on heaven to give us a warning of what will befall those whom follow after Satan, rather than Himself. Jesus uses the story of the rich man and of Lazarus to contrast and show us what is the final destiny of all of us. We have one of two choices to make before we draw our last breath here on earth. We have the choice to either follow the ways of God, or the ways Satan. Whichever choice we make, will determine our eternal destiny, either heaven or hell.
The choice is simple. To follow the ways of God leads us to and eternity living in the presence of God eternally, with a renewed heavenly body, to no more suffer pain, sickness, death and misery. The opposite choice is to suffer an eternity forever banished from the presence of God with no chance to ever cross the chasm between heaven and hell. To live in eternal darkness, in pain of agony, thirst and discomfort.
Read for yourself the account Jesus gives of the rich man and Lazarus in Luke 16:19-31. Here we see in detail the eternal rewards of the choices we make while we still draw breath here on earth, on this side of eternity. At death we read that Lazarus whom we can infer was a righteous man, was lifted up mto the bosom of Abraham ( representing eternity in heaven) Jesus says that Now, Lazarus is comforted; : Luke 16: 25" That is that, whereas, Lazarus while on earth suffered from pain, sickness and disease, from persecution, and bad treatment from the wealthy of the world. But at death, he was immediately taken to the Bosom of Abraham, to heaven, to live eternally with his reward in the everlasting presence of God, of Jesus.
However, the rich man whom sought the ways of the world, who sought to reap the riches and pleasures of life on earth, upon his last breath was rewarded eternally to Hades upon his last breath. Luke 16:23. Here, he is no longer in comfort, but is in eternal torment of pain and agony, thirsty forever, unable to have his thirst quenched. This is the reward of those whom seek and lust after the ways of the world, whom seek after the pleasures of the world. These are the rewards of those whom meditate on the ways of Satan, rather than the ways of God.
1 Tim. 4:7-16 shows us also so clearly that those whom follow and obey the teachings, the doctrines of God, will be eternally rewarded to, not a hope, but a promise of everlasting life with God. 1 tim. 4:7 says; " Have nothing to do with the wordly fables of old women. " If we were to turn this on it’s side we would read; " Have nothing to do with the ungodly ways of the world. "
Following this verse are instructed to discipline yourselves for godliness, for we are told that if we discipline ourselves following the ways of the world, seeking after it’s temporary pleasures, it profits us but for a short time. Whereas if we discipline ourselves for godly living, it holds a promise for things (eternal) things to come in heaven.
Therefore my brethren, may I implore you, may I beseech you to meditate daily on the ways and things of God. And once you understand, and obey there teachings therein scripture, know this, that your eternal reward will be alongside of Lazarus, forever comforted.
So, what is your choice? "As for me and my house, I shall serve in the house of the Lord. " Joshua 24:15

André B., Canada

A Prayer from a Brother from HA Online

Lord I lift my face to you,

In this storm that seems so great

Only you can carry me through

Only you know my fate

 

Help me to stand proud and strong

Keep my heart and mind pure

Keep me safe from all this wrong

I know you can, Lord I’m sure

 

Carry me through this rough sea

Calm my worries and my fears

Hold me closer to thee

Hold me close, dry my tears

 

Guard my ears and my eyes

From this wickedness on earth

So that true peace I can find

And after You, Lord I will thirst

 

Oh these struggles seem so hard

The load I can hardly bear

But I know you’re never far

When with You I wish to share

 

You are the best listening ear

When I find I need to talk

You always tell me not to fear

And never say, “It’s all your fault”

 

Give me daily strength my Lord!

Guide me through the valleys dark

So that someday I can afford

To spend eternity with you!

 

In Jesus name, Amen

 

-Steve

(used with permission)

 

 

Basic Principles

There are certain basic principles which all of us must follow if H.A. is to do its job of helping people find freedom from homosexuality. Three important ones begin with the letter A.


Anonymity: Our twelfth tradition reminds us: “Anonymity is the spiritual foundation of all our Traditions, ever reminding us to place principles before personalities.” There are two levels at which anonymity must function.
On the personal level: We know that the social stigma of homosexuality is often a factor in a person’s decision whether or not to seek help. Therefore, H.A. members recognize that a firm assurance of confidentiality is imperative if we wish to succeed in attracting and helping other people wishing to find freedom from homosexuality. H.A. promises personal anonymity to all who attend its meetings. First names only are used. If a new person wishes to give out personal information, he or she is free to do so, but should not feel pressured to give it. Personal information shared during any meeting is treated as confidential. Some people experiencing freedom from homosexuality are eager to share the good news of their H.A. affiliation with family, friends and other support groups. Such disclosure is their own choice.
On the public level: Anonymity does not prevent H.A. members from following the biblical call to testify from their own experience. We can speak of our recovering experience in Jesus and our association with H.A. to family, to church, to a university audience, or at any gathering where the press, radio, or television are not present. But when the media are present, or where we choose to go to print, H.A.F.S. urges that we either use only first names and last initial and allow no photographs, or testify under full personal identity without referring to our association with H.A. Fellowship. When H.A. is covered in the media, it is the Christ-centered principles of the Fellowship by which men and women are finding freedom from homosexuality that should be referred to. The principles rather than the individual personalities are the key when it comes to H.A. media coverage.
Adhering to the principle of anonymity protects both the individual and the Fellowship.
The individual is protected from identification as a homosexual and, should he or she have a setback in the recovery process, from being held up to public ridicule by those who seem to desperately eager to prove that freedom from homosexuality is impossible. The Fellowship is protected from anyone who might otherwise exploit their H.A. affiliation for personal gain or glory.

Autonomy: Those of us who have experienced homosexuality have known powerlessness. That often creates an unhealthy desire for control in one or two ways.
In some, being out of control has created a terrible thirst for power and an inability to distinguish between pulling one’s own weight and throwing one’s weight around. Because we have been unable to manage our own lives, we may think we must dominate others.
Fearful of others, we seek to dominate them; or, frightened of our own weakness, we seek someone else to control us. Either way we perpetuate the forces which feed addiction. We are caught in that “dominance over people” or that “servile dependency” from which we have pledged to break free in Step 12. If we are ever to become mature, we must cast off our longings to be the tyrannical child or irresponsible infant!
To help us in this process, our Tradition Two, Four, and Seven state: “H.A. Fellowship recognizes the final authority of the loving Creator-God as He expresses Himself in Jesus Christ through the Word of God to our group consciousness. Our leaders are but trusted servants; they do not govern.” “Each chapter should be autonomous (electing officers from its own local membership), except in members affecting other chapters or H.A. as a whole.” “Every H.A. chapter ought to be fully self-supporting, declining outside contributions.”
Not only are these principles psychologically sound, they are eminently practical. They allow men and women seeking freedom from homosexuality to help start new groups and help build better ones.
Alcoholics Anonymous would not exist today had it waited for approval from others to begin its work. H.A. is where A.A. was in the 1930’s. Some churches’ faith in the Gospel as “the power of God unto salvation to everyone that believes” (Romans 1:16) has been dimmed by the pronouncements of some psychologists and the propaganda of the militant gays who say it is futile to look for change in people with a homosexual struggle. Weak faith hobbles rather than helps those who would reach out to the sufferer. A counseling ministry, though it names the name of Him who “made Himself of no reputation” (Philippians 2:7), can be more concerned to protect its reputation than to set captives free. When this is the case, it too will hinder. At H.A. we thank God for the churches and counseling ministries who have stood with us, strong in faith. We desperately need, earnestly seek, and deeply appreciate the prayers, counsel, and support of all God’s people. Since not all have strong faith, we maintain the principle of autonomy lest anyone strangle us in the sea of red tape and many who might otherwise be saved perish!
The principle of autonomy not only protects us, it protects our friends. H.A. is a pioneer ministry, and the history of A.A. (not to mention the book of First Corinthians) shows that the early days of such a work can be difficult. Sometimes people who would not think of closing a church where the choir director ran away with the first soprano are all too ready to disband an H.A. chapter where there have been relapses. Some who can be patient with a struggling alcoholic can be very harsh with those who are struggling with homosexuality. We do not want pastors to lose church members or counselors to lose supporters because of us. We maintain the principle of autonomy so that our friends will never be forced to choose between hurting their ministry and injuring us. If need be, they can quietly hold us up in prayer while they wait for the proper time to be more open in their support. Meanwhile, we can go about our business of personal recovery and helping others find freedom from homosexuality. Thus, in maintaining the principle of autonomy, we are saying, “We need help, but we do not want to cause anyone harm.”
We who are in H.A. also know that people in Reading [the city where the previous headquarters of H.A. were at who were now moved to Houston, Texas] or on the Board do not have all the answers either. The principle of autonomy allows each H.A. chapter the freedom to experiment. If something you try fails, we trust that you will have the humility to admit it so we can all learn from your mistake. If something works, we urge you to let us know so that we can pass it on to others and all of us can improve. Healthy trial and error should always have a place in H.A.
Not only is the principle of autonomy psychologically sound and eminently practical, most important of all, it is thoroughly biblical. It is based on the teaching of Scripture concerning the priesthood of every believer (I Peter 2:9; Revelation 1:6), the responsibility of each to bear his own burden (Galatians 6:5), that we are all brothers under one Master, Christ (Matthew 23:9-12), and the godly leaders are servants (Mark 10:42-45) who guide by example rather than by force (I Peter 5:3).
Please understand what autonomy is not! It is not the illusion of infallibility. We recognize that we will make mistakes and need God’s grace (Psalm 19:12). It is not pride. We know that we must seek counsel and do need help (Proverbs 11:14). It is not an uncooperative spirit. We understand that we are to work with others “endeavoring to keep the unity of the Spirit in the bond of peace” (Ephesians 4:3). It is not a call for individuals to sever relationships with other groups or ministries. We thank God when someone gets help from counseling. We rejoice in what the Spirit gives others (Romans 12:3-5). H.A. autonomy must never be used to subvert personal accountability. It is not rebellion. We recognize the Lordship of Christ and the authority of the Word of God (Romans 10:9,10; II Timothy 3:16,17) and seek to follow the Bible as God enables us to understand it (Psalm 119:18).
Autonomy is simply taking proper responsibility for ourselves and for each other. By it we say that we need and welcome advice and assistance, but we decline control. We will be responsible to start our groups, elect our officers, solve our problems, and keep our group well and strong so that we may grow well and strong. No one must be allowed to take this from us. Scary? Yes! Necessary? Absolutely!

Accountability: Accountability cannot be demanded but must be given by every person if he or she hopes to find freedom from homosexuality. There are many levels of accountability. All of us are accountable to God. Every H.A. member is urged to be accountable to his or her church, to family and friends, and to others in his or her support system. Every member should be accountable to the local H.A. chapter.
We owe our H.A. chapter openness and honesty about where we are and how we are doing. Our H.A. chapter owes us concern enough to encourage, challenge, and, when necessary, confront us with the truth. That kind of “tough love” will help us follow after freedom or cause us to choose to leave if we are not really serious about finding it. It is the duty of the group itself and cannot be pushed off on any leader, board, or ministry.
Of course it takes time, patience, wisdom, and prayer for this to develop. It is frightening at times and it takes faith in God’s almighty grace. But we are called to live a life of faith and must do so or we are doomed to fail in whatever we seek to do for Christ.
To encourage accountability, we urge each chapter to give every member the New Member’s Card and explain it to them. We suggest that each group discuss the matter of boundaries. Encourage each member to talk about areas of struggle which are contrary to the will of God. Urge them to renounce such practices in faith, reaching out to others in time of temptation and reporting back to the group regularly on how the battle is going. The group must teach that support, not condemnation, will help win the victory. Correct the behavior; affirm the person.


Celebrate anniversaries! Applaud the person who can say, “It has been ten months since I have acted out!” Cheer the one who reports, “It has been ten weeks since I have been to a porn shop.” Encourage the individual who says, “I am struggling with masturbation and I fell this week. It has only been three days since I slipped.” Give group recognition to those who are trying. God rejoices and so should we! Thus many who have utterly despised themselves can recover a proper self-respect.
Someone may ask, “What if a chapter fails?” God lives! Each chapter is accountable to and dependent on Him. If it is not faithful, He may withhold His blessing and the group will sicken and may die. If the members repent, He will restore them. If not, He will replace them. Our faith must be in our heavenly Father who knows all things and who alone has the wisdom to know what should be done in every case. Can we not look to Him?
And there is another safeguard in this manner of accountability. We who were once trapped in homosexuality know that our H.A. group is one of the strongest means preventing us from going back into bondage in a time of discouragement, stress, or loneliness. Here are men and women who understand what we are going through and can help us. We are not fools! We want to safeguard, not undermine, that which safeguards us. We know that homosexuality is not a way of life but a way that leads to death—emotional, spiritual, and often physical.
God has said, “I call heaven and earth to record this day…that I have set before you life and death, blessing and cursing: choose life…” (Deuteronomy 30:19), We want to choose life but know we cannot do it alone. We need the grace of God and the help of our fellow sufferers. Therefore we stand by these principles of anonymity, autonomy and accountability and pledge to do all in our power to make H.A. strong that it may help us and any others who want freedom!

(Taken from the "Homosexuals Anonymous Policy and Advisory Manual")

 

Experience, Strength & Hope

Quote

“The issue of homosexual recovery today is at the same place the issue of alcoholic recovery was before 1935. Nobody thought it was possible short of creating a ‘dry drunk’ and policing him for the rest of his life. But then Alcoholics Anonymous came along, and the bubble burst. Recovery was possible! It’s the same in the homosexual area. There’s a new groundswell that is leading thousands to believe in the possibility of recovery. I believe God will yet surprise us all with His mercy and grace, and if the world is still around in another thirty years, the question whether a homosexual person can become heterosexual in his responses will sound like a discussion of nineteenth-century medicine.”

--Colin C., co-founder of Homosexuals Anonymous

 

Douglas McIntyre: Safe Sex

Douglas McIntyre - The Beginning